Dear Oracle,
I dated “Becca” from 2016-2020. We had a super healthy relationship and very healthy breakup and remained friends this entire time. Becca had a best friend, “Marcy” from college, and we spent a lot of time together as a group of friends. Becca got married last year, and due to some not-really-dramatic drama from the bachelorette party, Becca told Marcy she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. Due to this, I spend a lot more one-on-one time with Marcy (at least once a week), and it’s wonderful. I really value her friendship and we both get to slightly vent about Becca. The thing is…more than one person has pointed out that maybe Marcy and I should date… and I’m wondering if we should. She’s an incredible woman, beautiful, kind, and insanely intelligent, but I never assumed we COULD date because dating your ex’s BFF seemed uncouth? But now that they aren’t friends, it seems like that door is open. I’m not sure how I feel. If I allowed myself to have a crush, it would grow, but besides my high school girlfriend, I’ve never had a “friends-to-lovers” relationship, and I really value her friendship, so I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that. But, uh, can the cards tell me if me and my friend should date?—Like or Like-Like
Cards for what you think about her: Seven of Pentacles (reversed), Queen of Swords, King of Wands (reversed)
Cards for what she thinks about you: Three of Cups, The Emperor (reversed), Five of Cups
Dear Like-like,
What a fascinating predicament to be in. Love certainly can sneak up on you, turning your heart inch-by-inch until you wake up one day and realize you’re in love. I don’t think y’all are there (yet?), but having a solid friendship is a great start to a relationship if it ever gets to that point.
Also, it’s so refreshing to read the opposite of a “friendzone” lament from a dude. It seems like sex and romance have never been on the table before and it’s only entering the conversation now because others are (I assume) noticing chemistry or compatibility or something.
And you would be the King of Wands: creative, courageous, true to his word, and warm with Papa Bear energy. With the Seven and the King reversed, I wonder if you would become more of yourself if you were in a relationship with a Queen of Swords, be it Marcy or someone else. How would it feel to be loved and accepted completely?
For Marcy, it’s clear that she values your friendship just as much as you do. With the Three of Cups, she loves you as a friend and thinks highly of you as The Emperor. In Tarot, The Emperor is the second highest masculine card (the first being The Hierophant, which can be God, so…) and shares many similarities with the King of Wands. Both are natural-born leaders, both rule by respect rather than fear, both have hutzpah and are lion-hearted. It is a very flattering portrait.
I also think that Marcy has considered dating you—either people suggest it to her too, or she’s thought it herself—and after running the numbers, she landed on the Five of Cups. It’s a card of feeling overwhelmed with loss and despair, and I think Marcy would deeply grieve your friendship if it was ever lost.
Though, the Five of Cups is a bit of a trickster. It’s catastrophizing on the three fallen chalices while ignoring the two left that are fine. The worst-case scenario would be that you two date, and it ends disastrously, and you never speak again. Or, maybe your date, find out it’s not for you, and go back to being friends. (Or find out that it does work!)
At this point, both of you seem to know the possibility of romance and put that possibility firmly in “thought experiment” territory. It’s in your heads right now, not your hearts. It might move there, it might not. At this point, you’re both sorting out your true feelings.
Typically, this would be where I tell you what the cards say about how to proceed. But, after drawing several nonsense cards and getting a “negative” from my pendulum, I think that’s a secret the deck is keeping.
So, keep doing what you’re doing. Hang out, spend time together, parse your feelings privately. If you want to broach a conversation, you might lightly bring up, “X said the other night that we should date” and gauge her reaction, or if you’re feeling really brave, put the thought experiment out there.
Or, you could just wait to see what happens. Maybe you’ll wake up one day in love. Maybe you won’t. But you two already have a deep well of love for each other. Emotionally intimate friendships are not second fiddle to romantic loves. They are equally important and worthy of attention.
Whatever this relationship may be in years—romantic or platonic—I hope that you and Marcy get to enjoy each other's company and feel accepted and loved for who you are and who you become.
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I dated “Becca” from 2016-2020. We had a super healthy relationship and very healthy breakup and remained friends this entire time. Becca had a best friend, “Marcy” from college, and we spent a lot of time together as a group of friends. Becca got married last year, and due to some not-really-dramatic drama from the bachelorette party, Becca told Marcy she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. Due to this, I spend a lot more one-on-one time with Marcy (at least once a week), and it’s wonderful. I really value her friendship and we both get to slightly vent about Becca. The thing is…more than one person has pointed out that maybe Marcy and I should date… and I’m wondering if we should. She’s an incredible woman, beautiful, kind, and insanely intelligent, but I never assumed we COULD date because dating your ex’s BFF seemed uncouth? But now that they aren’t friends, it seems like that door is open. I’m not sure how I feel. If I allowed myself to have a crush, it would grow, but besides my high school girlfriend, I’ve never had a “friends-to-lovers” relationship, and I really value her friendship, so I wouldn’t want to jeopardize that. But, uh, can the cards tell me if me and my friend should date?—Like or Like-Like
Cards for what you think about her: Seven of Pentacles (reversed), Queen of Swords, King of Wands (reversed)
Cards for what she thinks about you: Three of Cups, The Emperor (reversed), Five of Cups
Dear Like-like,
What a fascinating predicament to be in. Love certainly can sneak up on you, turning your heart inch-by-inch until you wake up one day and realize you’re in love. I don’t think y’all are there (yet?), but having a solid friendship is a great start to a relationship if it ever gets to that point.
Also, it’s so refreshing to read the opposite of a “friendzone” lament from a dude. It seems like sex and romance have never been on the table before and it’s only entering the conversation now because others are (I assume) noticing chemistry or compatibility or something.
Send your questions for the Oracle to [email protected] or DM @theyboracle on Instagram.
Find more of her and book services via carolinedebruhl.com
For you, the cards do show you mulling this over. Pentacles are often the suit of work, but they’re also things that we value. The Seven of Pentacles, then, can be a reflection of all that came before but being open to a pivot. You clearly value Marcy’s friendship (you said so twice), but I think you’re OK if things evolved. The Queen of Swords is a whip-smart woman, which seems to be Marcy, and is someone who knows herself. She means what she says, and she would be an honest partner. There is no “I can fix him,” with Queen of Swords. If she accepts you, it’s as you are in the cold light of day. Find more of her and book services via carolinedebruhl.com
And you would be the King of Wands: creative, courageous, true to his word, and warm with Papa Bear energy. With the Seven and the King reversed, I wonder if you would become more of yourself if you were in a relationship with a Queen of Swords, be it Marcy or someone else. How would it feel to be loved and accepted completely?
For Marcy, it’s clear that she values your friendship just as much as you do. With the Three of Cups, she loves you as a friend and thinks highly of you as The Emperor. In Tarot, The Emperor is the second highest masculine card (the first being The Hierophant, which can be God, so…) and shares many similarities with the King of Wands. Both are natural-born leaders, both rule by respect rather than fear, both have hutzpah and are lion-hearted. It is a very flattering portrait.
I also think that Marcy has considered dating you—either people suggest it to her too, or she’s thought it herself—and after running the numbers, she landed on the Five of Cups. It’s a card of feeling overwhelmed with loss and despair, and I think Marcy would deeply grieve your friendship if it was ever lost.
Though, the Five of Cups is a bit of a trickster. It’s catastrophizing on the three fallen chalices while ignoring the two left that are fine. The worst-case scenario would be that you two date, and it ends disastrously, and you never speak again. Or, maybe your date, find out it’s not for you, and go back to being friends. (Or find out that it does work!)
At this point, both of you seem to know the possibility of romance and put that possibility firmly in “thought experiment” territory. It’s in your heads right now, not your hearts. It might move there, it might not. At this point, you’re both sorting out your true feelings.
Typically, this would be where I tell you what the cards say about how to proceed. But, after drawing several nonsense cards and getting a “negative” from my pendulum, I think that’s a secret the deck is keeping.
So, keep doing what you’re doing. Hang out, spend time together, parse your feelings privately. If you want to broach a conversation, you might lightly bring up, “X said the other night that we should date” and gauge her reaction, or if you’re feeling really brave, put the thought experiment out there.
Or, you could just wait to see what happens. Maybe you’ll wake up one day in love. Maybe you won’t. But you two already have a deep well of love for each other. Emotionally intimate friendships are not second fiddle to romantic loves. They are equally important and worthy of attention.
Whatever this relationship may be in years—romantic or platonic—I hope that you and Marcy get to enjoy each other's company and feel accepted and loved for who you are and who you become.
Subscribe to Creative Loafing newsletters.
Follow us: Google News | NewsBreak | Reddit | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
