This past Saturday night, I played my last show (for hopefully a very long time) to a handful of family and friends at the State Theatre in St. Petersburg.
I've been in bands for well over ten years now - The Gita (1998 - 2003), Auditorium (2003 - 2008) - plying heartfelt acoustic ballads and experimental noise in my spare time. A lot of energy (physical, psychological, spiritual, etc.) goes into keeping a band together and Saturday night served as a clear reminder of why I'm putting this piece of my life down for a while.
For a decade I've performed at least twice a month (sometimes a few times a week); released 9 (or so) CDs; scheduled weekly rehearsals; produced and designed the band's recordings, merchandise and promotions; scheduled tours of the Southeast (including a 2003 showcase at South by Southwest); worried about playing too much; worried about playing too little; dealt with club owners; dealt with other bands' egos (which are always suprisingly bigger than your own) and searched high and low for the right manager or agent so that I would no longer have to deal with club owners or bands with egos larger than my own. Eventually, it takes a toll.
Hear Auditorium's Last Show in it's Entirety!
As my wife, Jen, said on the way to the show, "It's been fun. It used to be more fun, but it's been fun."
A more accurate assessment cannot be made.
Expectations weren't all that high for Saturday's turnout. Honestly, the new band has never had that large of a following. It's kind of a psychedelic-electro-alternative-pop thing that just never gained traction with many listeners. Plus we're usually very loud and tend to force people out of the room, so I didn't expect too many people to give a shit that we were finally calling it quits. But that's why you put a multi-band bill together - it's a party, and hopefully you see some kind of cumulative effect. If you get 20 fans for each band, all of a sudden you've got a hundred people. And in the past, with word of mouth on our side, we've averaged around 200 through the door.
After the two half-page ads in Creative Loafing, the downtown postering, radio appearances and interviews, the 3,000 e-mails, the 200 text messages, there were 55 people that came out on Saturday. 55 people? Five really good bands played, tickets were only $5. I know times are tough, but is $5 and a couple drinks too much to ask? Our own music writer was even down the street covering goddamn RibFest. I gotta say, one thing I won't miss is playing to an empty fucking room. (Click here for a touching little photo essay over at Metromix.)
It wasn't a total loss, though. After our set (and in between me wrapping cables and making trips to the car with the gear), I managed to end up smoking and drinking and generally partying backstage with everyone and was told all night about what a great job I'd done "for the scene." I even ended up on stage with Soulfound singing "Real Full of It," one of my favorite tunes.
A little foreshadowing: While on stage with the guys, I came to the realization that if and when I return to the stage, it might just be with a single microphone in my hand. I could probably get used to the lead singer thing. It's the trying to keep a big, heavy piece of wood strapped around your neck that's a pain in the ass.
Inevitably, as a generation, there will be younger bands that come up and take our place. And where we used to put out compilation CDs and 'zines, they will host download sites and blogs and twitter or text each other about the hot new shit. I just hope they don't forget how to put on a well-produced, well-promoted "show." Those are the memories that I will cherish - the knowing smiles between the bands, the promoters, the bartenders, the sound guys, the light guys, the door guys. When all the pieces work together, these are the people who make it possible to turn a regular "night out" into a night you never forget.
And to the 55 people who understood that and showed up (or didn't quite understand, but showed up anyway), thank you.
More to come,
Joran
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A gaping hole marks the spot in the local scene that was once filled by your songs. On a less poetic note, are ya still gonna be heading up SMA? Doing some behind the scenes stuff? Where can Bay area folks expect to hear from Joran next?
joran, i couldn't agree more with your general assessment of the local scene and saturday's show. like yourself, i have been doing this a long time and have been jaded at times by the lack of support. people (friends, co-workers...) swear up and down all week that they are coming to your show, but for whatever reason they don't make it out. maybe they didn't feel like driving across the bridge (or driving back acorss later after drinking; which is a good reason)), maybe they went to ribfest (which is NOT a good reason; no matter how tight some country singer's pants were. that is also NOT a good reason to even go to a show even it was free because you were going to write something about it. just stay home and watch skinemax). maybe all this myspacing and texting just doesn't get people out to shows. i'm going old school for our next gig. i'm going to make 1000 flyers at kinkos (and only pay them for a fraction of what i printed) and i'm going to hand every single one of them out. i'll let you know if it still works. you (you = joran; not "you" that may happen to read this, but thank you for reading it!) have been a undying supporter of our local scene. a lot of bands owe you a mountain of thanks for the work you've done for them and the work you will continue to do for them. when these people don't show up for your last show, it's easy to think that's why you're hanging it up (for now...). don't be discouraged, there are kids out there who get it, who support. i had what has become my favorite gig moment ever a few weeks back. we (blast and the detergents) kept tripping the breaker during our set. on our last song, a Dicks cover, our drummer younger brother joined us to sing and we tripped the breaker again. we kept singing, our drummer kept the beat and a crowd of 70 punk kids clapped along to help keep the song together. it was one of those moments that restore your faith in the local scene. it's those moments that i live and play for. you'll have one of those moments again. i have no doubt that you'll be back on stage, probably sooner than you think, but longer than the rest of want to wait. just don't pull a Jeff Mangum on us. we need you and love you more than we probably tell you. and thankfully, i get to work with you, so i'll get my joran fix more than most. oh, and i'll give you $5 if you wear one of those Gita thongs to work, but you have to put a picture of you in it on the loaf website. maybe we'll get a few extra page views out of it...
Thanks Gabe. Not sure who Jeff Mangum is, but I'll be sure to Google it. And, indeed, those are the moments that make it worth the pain. Not to mention the menage a trois' and the mushroom trips. Ah, to be young again. Leilani, I'll still be hosting the SMAsh Radio podcast and covering the scene to find cool new bands to play on the show (or book for CL concerts/festivals) but I won't be performing.
joran, you can still have the menage a trois and the mushroom trips when yr older, just not as often; and probably not the first one if yr married... read about Jeff Mangum here: http://www.slate.com/id/2185219/ his story has taken a new turn as the man who has been more elusive than a dodo bird has recently turned up on stage as part of a little tour. a new record (though nothing is in the works as far as anyone knows) from Mangum could be the single greatest indie-rock event of the last 20 or even 30 years!
Joran, it's tough doing music these days. Especially for one that cares as much as you do. And I believe this area suffers a bit from no real single downtown, spread out, and too much to do. I learned a lot from you over the years, thanks much. Maybe now you can claim your music for just you. There's a certain satisfaction in that too. See ya around, and maybe I'll have a project needing your assistance someday. :)
We loved you signing with us. I may have to quit doing it so you can have something to do. Or we can start that project we have been bullshitting about for 2 years. Possibilities, once you free yourself of restraints, are endless. Mazel tov!
The secret to getting people to come out to shows is hot chicks. I know Gabe is with me on this one. If it's nothing but uglies showing up to gigs then most guys are going to stay home or hit Ybor. Am I right fellas?