Best of the Bay 2010: Readers' Poll winners 


The readers have spoken. You’ve done it again. And then some.
Approximately 17,000 of you voted in the 2010 Best of the Bay Readers’ Poll — a new record — casting 185,000 total votes in four categories. The biggest vote-getters were not exactly surprises — huge wins for USF, for instance, in Best Local College or University, and for the Tampa Bay Rays and Joe Maddon. (Raheem Morris, on the other hand — voted Worst Sports Coach — may have to earn your love.)

The results in two categories proved particularly heartening. Readers expressed surprisingly strong support for transit, whether high-speed or light-rail, in their votes for Best New Idea for Tampa Bay. And they showed their sympathy for the fallen TPD police officers Kocab and Curtis by posthumously voting them Local Heroes.

The winners follow, with runners-up listed in descending order of votes received.

-David Warner

Best Local Heroes
Officers Jeff Kocab and Dave Curtis (in memoriam)
Runners-up: Tampa Police Chief Jane Castor, George Steinbrenner, Tony Dungy
Other: “The 3 ladies who called 911 on the shooting of our 2 TPD officers”; “The 4-year-old who called 911 for his great grandmother”

Best Local Politician
Pam Iorio
Runners-up: Mary Mulhern, Kevin Beckner, Charlie Crist, Kathy Castor
The Second Coming: 12 votes for “Charlie Christ”

The Ronda Storms Award for Worst Local Politician
Kevin White
Runners-up: TIE: Charlie Crist and Jim Norman; Brian Blair
Question: “can we still vote for rick baker?”
Him again: 9 votes for “Charlie Christ”

The Joe Redner Award for Best Local Troublemaker
Joe Redner
Runners-up: Bubba the Love Sponge, Peter Schorsch, Catherine Durkin Robinson
Other: “my 3 y.o. son”; “it’s been pretty dull lately”
Note: We didn’t want to give the Joe Redner Award to Joe Redner, but he blew away the competition. We now permanently retire the award; it’s Joe’s in perpetuity.

Best Neighborhood, Hillsborough
Seminole Heights
Runners-up: Hyde Park/South Tampa, Westchase

Best Neighborhood, Pinellas
Old Northeast
Runners-up: Historic Kenwood, Dunedin, Gulfport

Best Beach
Fort DeSoto Beach
Runners-up: Clearwater Beach, Pass-A-Grille, St. Pete Beach

Best New Building
Tampa Museum of Art
Runners-up: Salvador Dali Museum, Signature Place Condominiums, Glazer Children’s Museum
Comment: “We should probably stop building”

Best Local TV Newsperson
Gayle Sierens
Runners-up: Brendan McLaughlin, Reginald Roundtree

Best Local TV Weatherperson
Steve Jerve
Runners-up: TIE: Dennis Phillips and Jim Weber
Or: “The suspender guy”

Best Local Columnist
Howard Troxler
Runners-up: Ernest Hooper, Catherine Durkin Robinson, Eric Deggans

Best CLTampa.com Contributor
Catherine Durkin Robinson
Runners-up: Amanda Allwood
Comment: “None they all suck. You’re a bunch of Liberals!”

Best Local Blogger
Catherine Durkin Robinson (Out in Left Field, Daily Loaf)
Runners-up: W.B. Philip (Lightning Shout!), Miss Destructo

Best Local Personality to Follow on Twitter
Miss Destructo
Runners-up: Jesse Scotto; TIE: Catherine Durkin Robinson and Cowhead
Comment: “Anyone but Miss Destructo...please. 10,000+ tweets and what does it fucking matter”

Best Local College or University
University of South Florida
Runners-up: University of Tampa, Eckerd College

Best Florida College Team
Bulls
Runners-up: Gators

Best Local Sports Team
Tampa Bay Rays
Runners-up: Buccaneers, Lightning

Best Sports Coach
Joe Maddon
Runners-up: Urban Meyer, Tony Dungy

Worst Sports Coach
Raheem Morris
Runner-up: Jim Leavitt

Best Rays Player
Evan Longoria
Runners-up: Carl Crawford, Carlos Peña

Best Bucs Player
Ronde Barber
Runners-up: Cadillac Williams, Barrett Ruud

Best Lightning Player
Martin St. Louis
Runners-up: Steven Stamkos, Vincent LeCavalier

Best Local Radio Station
WMNF 88.5 FM
Runners-up: 93.3 WFLZ FM; 97X

Best Local Radio Personality
Bubba The Love Sponge
Runners-up: Rat Boy and Stay Puff; Rob Lorei

Best Park
Fort DeSoto Park
Runners-up: Curtis Hixon Park, Vinoy Park

Best Weekend Getaway
Anna Maria Island
Runners-up: Don CeSar Resort, Fort DeSoto
Most fun to say: “Tubing the Ichetucknee”
Least likely to stay: “Las Vegas...hands-down....what you think Plant City can compete?”

Best Pick-Up Spot
Orbit 19 Lounge
Runners-up: Blue Martini, MacDinton’s
Other: “my kitchen...pick up those dishes, bitch!”; “1:00 a.m.…any bar…”

Best Place for a First Date
Ceviche
Runners-up: Tampa Theatre, Vertical Ventures
Other: “segway tour of downtown tampa”; “stroll on Bayshore”; “day of vintage shopping & checking things out in St. Pete, lunch/dessert at The Globe, then cocktails” Back-up plan: “Capital Grille… if the date sucks, at least you can get a great steak & wine...Roy’s too!!”

Best Place to Get Married
Nova 535
Runners-up: Don CeSar Resort, the beach
Typical comment: “DON’T DO IT!”
The Vegas guy: “Again… Las Vegas, baby!!”

Best Place to Break Up
Orbit 19 Lounge
Runners-up: At home, The Hub
Other: “In my car as I drop his no car or license 32 year old ass off at work :)”; “If you can’t swing national TV… then facebook is a nice fall back”; “the police station...you never know!!”; Skyway Bridge

Best Local Sex Scandal
Kevin White
Runners-up: Teachers having sex with kids; The Hogans
Other: “BP screwing all of us”
Dialogue: “Again....Anyone have the Gayle Guyardo pictures???????”; “Pathetic Question — Get a Life!!”

Best Bizarro Local News Story
The Mystery Monkey
Runner-up: 1-800-AskGary Amphitheatre
Comment: “so many head hurts ! omg”
Classic Florida: “Pasco Woman Sells Trailer that’s not hers...and knifes someone in jail”; “sex toy recycling in Pasco”
Classic anywhere: “The lady pulled over for ‘shaving her privates’ while driving

Best-Kept Secret
Orbit 19 Lounge
Runners-up: Bula Kafe, Tempus Projects’ Secret Movie Lectures, Pink Credit
Other: “My 3-space parking lot at Sunset Beach... and no I won’t say where it is!”; “how many people have tigers in their backyards. It’s true!”
Many versions of: “not telling, it’s getting crowded already” and “im not telling! i dont need a gang of douche bags up in my spot”

Best New Idea for Tampa Bay
High-speed rail
Runners-up: Light rail, mass transit
In other words: The overwhelming sentiment among BOTB voters was, “Let’s get going with transit already!”

Worst New Idea for Tampa Bay
Moving the Rays
Runner-up: Nothing else came close

Most Overrated Thing About Tampa Bay
The weather
Runners-up: Ybor City, sports teams, strip clubs, beaches
Booster of the Month: “Nothing is over-rated. Tampa is great.”
Ouch: “The fact that Creative Loafing acts like they’re important to the Community!!”

Most Underrated Thing About Tampa Bay
The beaches
Runners-up: Ybor, Downtown St. Pete, the arts scene
Other: the friendly toll-booth operators”; “That Babe Ruth and Jack Kerouac both lived here for decades”; “the amazing volume of talented professionals willing to work for rates lower than normal to live here…”; “flipflops”
Exclamation points: “The RAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”; “Lack of oil on our beaches!”; “Its Beauty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”; “everything!!!””

Best Clothing Boutique, Female
Dara Lauria
Runners-up: Georgette’s Fashions, MISRED Outfitters

Best Clothing Boutique, Male
Urban Body
Runners-up: Monaco Boutique, Sacino’s Formalwear

Best Local Fashion Designer
Bunny Couture
Runners-up: Judy Tampa, Raven Reda, Ben Chmura

Best Vintage Clothing Store
La France
Runners-up: Sherry’s YesterDaze, Squaresville, Revolve Clothing Exchange
Comment: “sorry,no spending 300 on a dress im BOUND to spill beer on anywho for me…”

Best Hair Salon
Spa 801
Runners-up: The Hair Company, Mikel’s Salon, Bentley Salon

Best Spa
Spa 801
Runners-up: Safety Harbour Resort & Spa; Spa Jardin; Blue Lotus Day Spa; Glow

Best Tattoo Artist
Keller, Classic Tattoos
Runners-up: Angelo Nales, RedLetter1; Frankie D
Comment: “That stupid fad is still going? Grow up people, its a life sentence of stupidity”

Best Gym
YouFit
Runners-up: LA Fitness, Lifestyle Family Fitness
Comments: “It’s fun to stay at the YMCA”; “who works out?”

Best Place to Volunteer
SPCA, Largo
Runners-up: Metropolitan Ministries, CASA, Humane Society

Best Bike Shop
Flying Fish Bicycles
Runner-up: Chainwheel Drive

Best Place to Take the Kids
Lowry Park Zoo
Runners-up: Busch Gardens, Disney World; TIE: Florida Aquarium and MOSI
Comments: “a one way trip to Siberia”; “Anywhere that you spend time with them without a cell phone”; “OUTDOORS!”

Best Animal Rescue Organization
Big Cat Rescue
Runners-up: ASPCA, Humane Society of Tampa Bay

Best Environmental Organization
Tampa Bay Watch
Runners-up: Sierra Club, Audubon Society
Comment: “fucking oxymoron isn’t it?”

Best Eco-Friendly Store

Whole Foods
Runners-up: Rollin’ Oats, Why Not/Sweet Emotion Boutique
R.I.P.: The top vote-getters in this category were Whaley’s and Tampa Street Market, both of which are now closed.

Best Bookstore
Barnes & Noble
Runners-up: Haslam’s Book Store, Inkwood Books

Best Public WiFi
Starbucks
Runners-up: Tampa International Airport, Panera Bread, Wilson’s Book World
Alternative: “My neighbor, who doesn’t password-protect.”

Best Sex Shop
The Todd
Runners-up: XTC SuperCenter, Shhh! Don’t Tell Mama Superstore
Comment: “I can’t believe you’re ranking this”

Best Head Shop
High Tide
Runners-up: Purple Haze, Wooden Nickel, Headzup Smoke Shop

Best Yoga Studio
Yogani
Runner-up: Yoga Energy Studio
Editor's Note: Though South Tampa Pilates won this category, we’ve decided, and South Tampa Pilates has graciously agreed, that because they don’t offer yoga, the award isn’t exactly appropriate for them. Next year, we’ll add a pilates category so all you fans of South Tampa and other pilates studios will have a place to cast your votes.

Best Dry Cleaner
Sew Fast
Runners-up: McNatt’s Cleaners, Sacino’s Fine Dry Cleaning
Comment: “I sell skateboards. I don’t use drycleaning.”

Best Chef
Greg Baker, The Refinery
Runners-up: Peter Leonavicius, Toasted Pheasant Bistro; Suzanne Crouch, Ella’s
Comment: “Pia Goff from Pia’S Trattoria in Gulfport (she’s not only the best chef but she’s the prettiest chef, too ;-))”

Best New Restaurant
Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café
Runners-up: The Refinery, Toasted Pheasant Bistro, Burger Monger

Best Bargain Restaurant
Pizzaiolo Bavaro
Runners-up: La Teresita, The Refinery

Best Splurge Restaurant
Bern’s Steak House
Runners-up: Ocean Prime, SideBern’s, Mise en Place

Best Pizza
Pizzaiolo Bavaro
Runners-up: Cappy’s Pizzeria, Mellow Mushroom, Sally O’Neal’s Pizza Hotline

Best Wings
Hooters
Runners-up: Beef O’Brady’s, Buffalo Wings ‘N Things, The Wing King

Best Burger
Five Guys
Runners-up: El Cap, Square One Burgers

Best Cuban Sandwich
The Floridian
Runners-up: La Teresita, Brocato’s Sandwich Shop

Best Seafood Restaurant
Mitchell’s Fish Market
Runners-up: Bonefish Grill, Salt Rock Grill, Frenchy’s

Best Soul Food Restaurant
Ella’s Americana Folk Art Café
Runners-up: Unique Soul Food; Savannah’s Café; TIE: Mary’s Miracle Restaurant and New Soul Sandwich Shop

Best Steakhouse
Bern’s Steak House
Runners-up: Charley’s Steak House, Outback, Ruth’s Chris

Best Vegetarian Restaurant
Grass Root Organic Restaurant
Runners-up: Leafy Greens Café, Consciousness Blossoms

Best Barbecue Restaurant
Smoke
Runners-up: Smokin’ J’s BBQ, Jimbo’s Pit BBQ
Comment: “HAHA!!! 12 bones in asheville north carolina!”

Best Chinese Restaurant
P.F. Chang’s
Runner-up: Hao Wah Chinese
Comment: “nothing since Ming Dynasty”

Best Cuban Restaurant
La Teresita
Runners-up: Columbia Restaurant, Pipo’s Café, Habana Café

Best Greek Restaurant
Acropolis Greek Taverna
Runners-up: Athenian Garden, Louis Pappas, Hellas

Best Indian Restaurant
India Grill
Runners-up: Cilantro Indian Cuisine, Taj Indian Cuisine

Best Italian Restaurant (The Please-Not-Olive-Garden-Again Award)
Pizzaiolo Bavaro
Runners-up: Carrabba’s Italian Grill, Bella’s Italian Restaurant, Rigatoni Tuscan Oven

Best Mexican/Tex-Mex Restaurant
Taco Bus
Runners-up: Estela’s, Red Mesa, Miguel’s

Best Middle Eastern Restaurant
Byblos
Runner-up: Fez

Best Thai Restaurant
Jasmine Thai
Runners-up: Nitally’s Thai-Mex Cuisine, Thai Terrace; TIE: Siam Garden and Thai Island

Best Gourmet Market
Mazzaro’s Italian Market & Deli
Runners-up: Fresh Market, Whole Foods

Best Sandwich Shop/Deli
Datz Delicatessen & Foodie’s Market
Runners-up: Lucky Dill Deli, Publix, Reservations Gourmet-to-Go

Best Coffee Shop (The Please-Not-Starbucks-Again Award)
Kahwa Coffee
Runners-up: Buddy Brew Coffee, Indigo, Cafe Hey
Comment: “shut up, I love Starbucks”

Best Breakfast
Pinky’s Diner
Runners-up: Lenny’s, Daily Eats (including 8 votes for “Daily Eats, although service sux”), and three-way tie between Pach’s Place, Skyway Jack’s and First Watch

Best Brunch
Oystercatchers
Runners-up: Island Way Grill, Pinky’s Diner (tie)
Other: “naked at home”

Best Bakery
Alessi Bakery
Runners-up: Pane Rustica, Kalupa’s Bakery

Best Ice Cream/Gelato Shop
Paciugo Gelato
Runners-up: Coldstone Creamery, Bo’s Ice Cream

Best Juice/Smoothie Bar
Xtreme Juice
Runners-up: Jamba Juice, Tropical Smoothie Café

Best Drunk Eats
Taco Bus
Runners-up: Mema’s Alaskan Tacos, Taco Bell

Best Neighborhood Bar, Hillsborough
The Independent
Runners-up: Maloney’s Local Irish Pub, World of Beer, Tiny Tap Tavern

Best Neighborhood Bar, Pinellas
Old Northeast Tavern
Runners-up: Georgie’s Alibi, Orbit 19 Lounge, Dunedin House of Beer

Best Party District
Ybor
Runners-up: TIE: Downtown St. Pete/Grand Central and SoHo/Hyde Park
Party pooper: A vote for Ybor City, with caveat that there’s “too much crime and gays in the evening hours”

Best Dive Bar
The Hub
Runners-up: Emerald Bar, Tiny Tap Tavern
Comment: “I avoid those, I want to live to see my grandchildren”

Best Sports Bar
Ferg’s Sports Bar
Runners-up: Press Box, Beef O’Brady’s

Best Draft Selection at a Bar
World of Beer
Runners-up: The Independent, Dunedin House of Beer, New World Brewery

Best Local Brewery
Cigar City Brewing
Runners-up: Dunedin Brewery, Tampa Bay Brewing Company

Best Happy Hour
MacDinton’s Irish Pub
Runners-up: The Chase Club, Grillsmith

Best Bartender
Demitry Lewis, The Chase Club
Runners-up: Christina at Mahuffer’s, Kevin Gallagher at The Palm
Other nominees: “Dude with the red beard at the Dubliner”; “the one with the huge tits at blur in dunedin”

Best Server
Ashley Brown, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company
Runners-up: Anthony Santos, Rigatoni’s; Cary Shirai, Pinky’s Diner
Other: “All the shameless hussies at The Tilted Kilt, Clearwater”

Best Martini
Blue Martini
Runners-up: Orbit 19 Lounge, Timpano Italian Chop House, Café Alma

Best Margarita
Superfruit 1800, Bubba Gump Shrimp Company
Runners-up: Red Mesa, Estela’s Mexican Restaurant

Best Beach Bar
Caddy’s on the Beach
Runners-up: The Undertow, Frenchy’s Original Cafe

Best Wine Bar
The Wine Exchange
Runners-up: A Taste for Wine, Taps, The Grape

Best Late-Night Restaurant
Taco Bus
Runners-up: Bella’s Italian Restaurant, Ceviche

Best Place to Buy Booze
Total Wine & More
Runners-up: The Hub Package Store, ABC Fine Wine & Spirits, Lueken’s Liquors
Comment: “Anywhere that’s not Total Wine and More”

Best Local Band
Four Star Riot
Runners-up: Reality Band, 10th Concession, John Q

Best Local Americana/Roots/Alt-Country Act
The Loving Thorns
Runners-up: Have Gun, Will Travel; J. Coker & Westbrook

Best Local Blues Act
Damon Fowler
Runners-up: T Blue, Nervous Turkey, Lee Pons

Best Local Indie Rock/Pop Act
10th Concession
Runners-up: Dynasty & DJ Sandman; Green Sunshine; Auto? Automatic?

Best Local Hip-Hop Act
The Stick Martin Show
Runner-up: Green Sunshine

Best Local Singer/Songwriter
The Stick Martin Show
Runners-up: Rebekah Pulley, John Allison

Best Local Jam Band
Cope
Runners-up: Poetry ’N Lotion, Green Sunshine, J. Coker & Westbrook

Best Local Reggae/Ska Band
Reality Band
Runners-up: Tribal Style, Johnny Cakes & the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso, Magadog

Best Local Punk Act
Elysium
Runners-up: Localism; TIE: Doll Partz and Misunderstood Superheroes

Best Local Metal/Hardcore
Lo
Runners-up: Elysium, The Absence

Best Instrumentalist
Jon Oliva (Savotage, Jon Oliva’s Pain)
Runners-up: Kiley Astle, violin (Will Erickson and Local Roots); Gary Schutt, guitar

Best Local Cover Band
Four Star Riot
Runners-up: Hell-Bent, Category Three, Circle Sky

Worst Local Band Name
Pitbull Toddler
Runners-up: Psycho Jesus, Not Tonight Josephine, Johnny Cakes and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso
Other worthy candidates: Blood Fart, Twisted Thong, Ladies of Death Row Swimsuit Calendar, Peace Mole and the Psychedelic Multicolored Litmus Paper Test, Dreadful Memories

Best Record Store
Vinyl Fever
Runner-up: Daddy Kool Records
Comments: “Ha ha like there is such a thing anymore”; “They still have those?”; “what’s a record store?”; “iTunes”

Best Large Concert Venue
1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre
Runners-up: Jannus Live, St. Pete Times Forum
Variations: “1-800-Axe Gurry Amphitheater”; “1800 ask gary or roz AMPLITHEATER”; “1800 Ask Gary Amphitheatre (so ghetto)”; “Ford Amphitheater (I refuse to write the other name)”; “1-800...... UGH”; “Jannus- NOT Jannus Live. Booo!!!!”; and the ever-lovely “Janice Landing”

Best Small Concert Venue

Jannus Live
Runners-up: Skipper’s Smokehouse, State Theatre, The Hideaway Café, Crowbar
Other: “ruth exists hall”

Best Concert in the Last 12 Months
restART Spring Forward @The Orpheum
Runners-up: Not Tonight Josephine feat. Framing Hanley and The Veer Union; Dave Matthews Band
Other: One vote for the immortal “Bruce Springstein”

Best Jazz Ensemble
Buster Cooper Trio
Runners-up: Nate Najar Trio, LadyFingers, Impromptu

Best Local Soul/R&B/Funk Act
The Black Honkeys
Runners-up: Green Sunshine, Kickin’ Again

Best Local Frontman/Frontwoman
Steve Alex
Runners-up: Stick Martin, Cave McCoy, Jeremy Thomas

Best Theater Company
American Stage Theatre Company
Runners-up: Jobsite Theater, Stageworks Theatre

Best Local Theater Production
Got Jokes? Improv Troupe
Runners-up: Hair (American Stage in the Park); Pericles (Jobsite Theater)

Best Local Actress
Allison Burns
Runners-up: Summer Bohnenkamp-Jenkins. Dahlia Legault, Meg Heimstead

Best Local Actor
Jeff Norton (in memoriam)
Runners-up: David Jenkins, Steve Garland, Bob Devin Jones

Best Dance Company
Moving Current Dance Collective
Runners-up: Hip Expression Belly Dance, Tampa West Ballet Company

Best Museum
Salvador Dali Museum
Runners-up: Museum of Fine Arts (St. Petersburg); MOSI; Tampa Museum of Art

Best Art Gallery
Vitale Art Studio
Runners-up: Morean Arts Center, Tempus Projects

Best Visual Art Exhibit

Chihuly Collection
Runner-up: Grey Matter at Tempus Projects
Variations: “Chahulli - I know I spelled that wrong;( ”; “CHIHULLY Gallery”; “Chihouly Collection”

Best Local Visual Artist
Anesti Vega
Runners-up: Len Neff, Ana Briancesco; TIE: Duncan McClellan and Frank Strunk III

Best Film Festival
Motion Film Festival
Runners-up: Tampa International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, Sarasota Film Festival

Best Open Mic Night
Yeoman’s Pub
Runners-up: Dunedin Brewery, Café Hey

Best Dance Club

Czar
Runners-up: The Castle, Push Ultra Lounge
Comment: “We dont have a proper one. The inside of Push makes me feel like Jonas inside the whale.”

Best Club DJ
DJ Mega
Runners-up: DJ Sandman, DJ Fresh

Best Weekly Club Night
Filthy Richard, Fridays at Czar
Runners-up: Klick Klack at The Lobby; Turbo Tuesdays at Fubar
Saddest comment: “I have work.”

Best Gay/Lesbian Bar
Georgie’s Alibi
Runners-up: G Bar, PLAY Ybor

Best Drag Performer
MACAViTi
Runners-up: Traila Parks, Kori Stevens

Best Drag Name
Traila Parks
Runners-up: MACAViTi, Amber Alert
Other suggestions: Scarlett O’Whora, Miss Anita Cocktail, Cherry Poppins, Ronda Storms

Best Karaoke
Pornaoke at The Pegasus Lounge
Runners-up: PLAY Ybor, Wilson’s, The Refinery

Best Strip Club
Mons Venus
Runners-up: 2001 Odyssey, Oz
Indignant voter: “Can’t believe you’re even asking. Why not ‘Best escort service’ or ‘best place to find a hooker’?”

Adult Performer, Female
Stephanie Shippae
Runners-up: Delilah Strong, Lillith Vain
Comment: “Who asks names at a Strip Club?”

Best Adult Performer, Male
Jack Hammer
Runner-up: 6Pak aka Andrew Six
Other nominees: Fuck You the Hobo Clown; Rick Scott

Best Jukebox
The Hub
Runner-up: New World Brewery

Predict the biggest news story of 2011
Oil and hurricanes
Specifics: Readers expect that oil will still be making headlines next year. Among the possibilities: “BP CEO killed by activists”; “BP suffers no consequences of any kind”; “Mutant shark samurais walk the earth avenging fallen brothers.” A major storm — or, as one BOTB voter resignedly puts it, “Probably some darn hurricane…” — is also on tap.

Several prognosticators see a female governor in Florida’s future, but there was a wide range of opinions about who will control Congress after Nov. 2. Here’s one: “Republicans take power and finish running the country into the ground.” Another voter predicts a “Tea Party revolution — everyone throws their health insurance into Boston Harbor.” Obama, in various prophecies, will turn out to be: a Russian, an alien, a woman, another Tiger Woods. And an uncomfortable number of you predicted a presidential assassination attempt.

But then, you were all about the celebrity deaths, counting the days for Betty White, Phyllis Diller, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Dick Clark and (finally) Abe Vigoda. One consolation: “Anna Nicole Smith — ALIVE!” Readers also seem to be obsessed with celebrity outings: according to you, not just Charlie Crist but Rick Scott, Marco Rubio, Ronda Storms, Ryan Seacrest, Obama, Tiger Woods, Oprah, Sarah Palin and LiLo will all come roaring out of the closet. And “Al Ruechel’s sex tape”? That’s just wrong.

Doomsday sentiments are in vogue, as we get closer to 2012. It might be later than we think, according to one prophet: “World Ends as we discover Mayans were off by one year.” Overall, CL readers showed a mix of optimism, despair and gallows humor.

Here are some more of the headlines you’re expecting to see:
Apple invents the iWife.
Enraged flamingos swarm Tampa
Global Warming: Wow, you weren’t kidding were you?
Jesus Returns, brings pork chops. • Mass suicides over Facebook site crash
New fad diet! Eat less, exercise more!
RAYS WIN THE WORLD SERIES
Rays MGMT found guilty of “accidentally” blowing up the Trop and forced to pay to build new stadium on existing site
Something embarrassing we do here in FL that takes the heat off a real news catastrophe or political scandal
Successful Business Woman Dies After Spending an Hour of Time She Doesn’t Have Filling out an Awards Survey

What’s the best way to punish BP?
Oil and feather ’em
Details: Angry much? We got suggestions for boycotts, banishment, fines, floggings, even decapitation (in jest, we hope). Some measures seemed, if not plausible, at least satisfying, like: “Evenly distribute all remaining tar balls recovered to the living room of the top 100 executives” or “Make the executives sit in a room and watch 24/7 BP propaganda commercials” or “Free gas for 3 months in Gulf states.” There were some respondents who spoke up for the mom-and-pop BP stations, and others who called for perspective: “Don’t punish them. US companies have been doing much worse in Nigeria for years!!” But the most far-reaching, and actually doable, response might be to follow this reader’s directive: “Sell your car, buy a bicycle.”

Who should host this year’s Loafies?
DJ Mega
Apologies: DJ Mega ran away with this competition, and would have been a great choice. But he has a conflict on Sept. 15, so he can’t make it. And we couldn’t get Stephen Colbert, or Ellen DeGeneres, or “I should, I”m awesome,” among the many, many other nominees for the position. And to tell the truth, this question was kind of an, um, accident. The editor thought he’d deleted it from the ballot before it went live and... well, oops. And who knew so many of you would want the gig? But whoever’s hosting, we think this year’s Loafies party is going to be a good time. Take a look at photos from the party at cltampa.com/loafies.







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