Bottoms up
by Diana Peterfreund
Beer School is a free "information session" that takes place several times a day in a softly lit, highly air-conditioned corporate meeting room lined with portraits of every man this century bearing the venerable name of August Busch. Juxtaposed against the whirligigs and wild animals outside, the Beer School classroom seems an almost unnervingly Zen space.
Several propaganda films -- sorry, informational videos -- tell the story of the four August Buschs (Sr., Jr., III, and the current IV) and their quest to create the freshest, tastiest, most popular beer on the planet. One video follows the company's history and finally explains the origin of those monster Clydesdales, while another describes the beer-making process, teaching the rather impatient beer students that Budweiser is made from roasted barley, rice, yeast and these spicy little buggers called "hops" that look like artichokes for Mini-Me. Once the class has been thoroughly indoctrinated in the Way of Busch, the instructors ask a token question to serve as a "final exam," and then it's on to graduation, the real reason everyone matriculated. The teachers pass around two samples of Bud (fresh and old, so you can "learn" the difference -- as if you care!), Bud Light, Michelob Ultra (tip: don't smell it or you'll never drink it again), the "rum-flavored" Bacardi malt beverage and the I-Can't-Believe-It's-Alcoholic hard lemonade.
After drinking your fill, the instructors present you with a diploma, pronounce you a certified Beer Master and send you staggering off to the nearest roller coaster, beer gurgling dangerously in your belly.
Busch Gardens is located at the corner of Busch Boulevard and McKinley Avenue in Tampa. Admission costs $51.95 for adults, plus parking. For hours or other info, call 1-888-800 5447 or visit www.buschgardens.com.
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