Breaking News: Justin Bieber gets a new haircut, still looks like a lesbian.
The David Arquette and Courteney Cox split is still hard for me to deal with, deep in my heart. Sure, he acted like a douche but he went to rehab and then he did what everyone should do after rehab, he went on Oprah and told her all his secrets.
Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris have set a wedding date for June 18th. I am taking bets on whether or not Hugh makes it to the wedding date alive.
John Travolta does not have hair, and those luscious locks we all love, or whatever, are fake. Apparently Scientology could not heal his balding head.
Speaking of Scientology, Tom Cruise has taken the role of Stacee Jaxx in Rock of Ages, the film. This is quite possibly the worst casting decision in Hollywood since James Franco hosted the Oscars #topicaljoke.
After the jump, some random stuff, Charlie Sheen quotes and the Lindsay Lohan story taking the country by storm.
Despite the fact that she writes songs about all her exes, boys keep dating Taylor Swift. Starring in her next album is Chord Overstreet from Glee. The only good thing about this is that we might see TaySwift join Glee Club this season (me and hundreds of country-loving gay guys are crossing our fingers for that cameo appearance).
Charlie Sheen is like a jelly of the month club, the man does not stop giving. I can't even figure out how to put it all together. It appears that he is pissed about Warner Bros and CBS shutting down production and instead of doing something sane like, I don't know, taking it like a man, he has gotten even crazier and decided to speak to and text the media with gems like these: "They know what they did is wrong. I expressed an opinion. I have the First Amendment behind me. I have an army marching behind me, to quote Eminem." Then there's this one: "These guys are a couple of AA Nazis, blatant hypocrites" and of course, "I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen." On top of all that, he is spending his days sporting a money shirt with a porn "star" and marijuana magazine model (I had no idea that was a career option) on a boat . These are the choices of a sober, healthy dude who wants to be taken seriously.... yep.
Finally, my favorite story of the week. Michael Lohan spoke with Chad Pitt of Play 98.7* and revealed very matter-of-fact-ly that Dina Lohan did cocaine with Lindsay, her daughter. I am not sure what is more embarrassing, having the world know that you did coke with your mom, having your dad tell the world about it on a Tampa radio station or simply being Lindsay Lohan. You have to hear the audio... priceless.
*Awesome radio station, check it out (shameless self-promotion for my other job)