HA! Being paid a visit by one of your friends when they have transformed into "Jäger [insert friend's name]" is NEVER a good thing. NEVER. Especially when they have gone the extra mile to become "Jäger Bomb [insert friend's name]".
I've been lucky enough to dine at Bern's many times; though I've never had the steak sandwich! One of the aspects of this restaurant that has impressed me most over the years is being treated like Dame Judi Dench even if I enter looking like Ruth Buzzi's character from Laugh In! Not to say that I don't TRY to dress up when I know I'll be going out for dinner; but sometimes an impromptu decision has me or my friends looking less than spiffy. May David Laxer & his restaurant live long & prosper! Cat Camp
Be careful at the Fox it is a frequent meeting place for swingers. Don't you read craigslist Wade?
I used to go to the Fox back in '93. It was fun-swanky then. You could smoke INDOORS and by comparison I was the youngest person there which translates into alot of free gin and tonics. What a flashback.
I'd completely forgotten about that place. I'm glad my memories of it are from when it was actually
a smokey hip hangout but now I suddenly feel elderly. sigh.
the fact that douchebag and macdintons continues to be uttered in the same sentence around these parts is breathtaking... there must be a reason for it.
re:"Don't use the dastardly "play now" option and/or skip other people's songs"
my friends and i throughly enjoy going to places like MacDinton's (or some other douchebaggy-filled douchey bar), selecting things like sonic youth, dead boys, ect from the search feature of the digital jukebox and using the play it now function. we'll put $5 or even $10 in the damn thing and watch the douches run for the jukebox trying to figure out what the fuck is playing. this is really fun when yr in a bar and (true story) some douchebag plays GNR's crapfest 'november rain' three times in 40 minutes. the play it now thing is god's gift mankind, or at least to me. hearing my bloody valentine at MacDinton's gave me goosebumps...
I seem to recall calling you on your cell from the other end of the bar at the pub to stop you from making out with what appeared to be a lifesize troll doll. That alone makes the "sucking face" category valid.
On a side note, next time Hilton wants to make out with you just slip him a little tongue.
Maybe he won't be so testy.
It's funny how people come on here to criticize your column. But ya know what they are still reading it and that's all that matters! So HA! Sounds like the guy above is just mad that he spends all his time and money at bars and has never been able to pull tail out of a single joint. Poor soul. Sounds like he works or hangs at the Castle, now that's uncomfortable and weird. I like your column and I think you should be nominated as the moral police.
i really don't know where to begin with this series...
i hope ol' sparky gets busted out before part two see the light of day.
and for the record, while i agree with the tibits above, i just find it hard to swallow coming from the source... like O.J. trying to sell me some cutlery... just not buying it.
Wade sad Wade:
With all the wallflower pub crawling disinformation you dispense to your audience (myself included) no bigger amount of hypocritcal blather was your statement #10 as "Sucking face" as bad etiquette in an establishment that serves liquor (i.e.bar). What are you 10? Want to run out of said establishment and report this to the hall monitor? Really now...in ALL of your drunken forays your tounge never ventured out just a bit maybe, to your friends dismay on someone who mishappenly found you attractive?
Most everyone is adult enough to know PDA's are bound to occur most anywhere...beaches ,parks,bus stops, rock concerts(cemeteries included just ask anyone who works at The Castle) so why rule them out in bars? What do we really know about the backstory of the couples' kissing anyway? I for one don't feel they are foolish, rather in the heat of the moment or maybe something greater is taking place(reconcilliation perhaps?). They are not "fools" as you proclaim but, I would argue make some of us jealous or uncomfortable because we wouldn't have the cajones' to do the same when that moment came to fruition.
Wade, last I checked no one agreed to your being the moral police(or etiquette ambassador) but, somehow you and your cronies have decided to dole out this post-modern fascist tripe as rules to follow...now THAT's uncomfortable.
Love 2 ALL,
Hilton F. Jones
Wade, why do you like SoHo so much? I can't stand it. I can't stand the shallowness and douchebaggery. The personalities of the bartenders are matched by those of the arrogant, self-centered, gold-digging twin bleached-blonde girls who come in with a guy in a blue-and-white striped long-sleeved polo shirt each night.
At SoHo, I paid $5 as beer (Miller Light) just to have my bartender disappear for 15 minutes. At Coppertop (in Temple Terrace), the bartender remembered my name, remembered what I was drinking, and made chit-chat, AND had more customers than the one in Hyde Park.... I will not be moving to SoHo soon (even though I could "afford" the women there).
/hangs head in shame
A bar without Golden Tee? Does it at least have beer? Sheesh...
i have been known to just go into camel mode and hold it in if there are those sketchy types posing as mens room attendants.
reminds me of History of the World part I with the piss boy.
I'm going to have to agree with Gigglecream here. I really don't like those bathroom guys.
The perfect bar would also not include having a guy in the bathroom who washes your hands for you against your will, making you feel guilty for not wanting to tip him. It is equivalent to homeless people who run up to your car with squeegees expecting payment.
i have to agree with most of your prerequisite so far... they have been my guiding light for the bars i pick as my favorite.
That being said, I would add that i prefer bar that is meant for drinking over being a meat market - and i really have no use for schwag beer or well anything. i might not be rich, but my liver at least thinks i am.
the only exception is the 'stumbling distance' rule. while i also live in and enjoy the soho area, i still find some of my faves a little farther than a stroll. I just try to pace myself and make my last drink the one at home.
i definately believe a well stocked jukebox (think the hub or new world) is necessary, as are clean bathrooms (with doors that lock!). TVs are okay, but generally not necessary... i would much rather a couple of dart boards (bristle, not plastic), and either a pool table or foosball.
Obviously it has to be walking distance ( or boat stealing distance)have clean rocks glasses and a jukebox worthy of the Tip Top tavern with some Counting Crows thrown in for good measure.
And I know it sounds elitist but I'd like the happy hour(s) to apply to year round locals only.
a bar tab that didnt make me completely hate you - its a new day tampa bay!
You forgot to mention your friends and fellow felons in Bradenton that you must be missing as well.
We surely do miss you.
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