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Hopefully Molto Mario learned a lesson from that ill-fated Food Network show where he traveled through Italy with his nameless (at least, I don't remember the name) pal through nigh unwatchable scenes of vaguely food-related hi-jinx. Even the clogged, redheaded demi-god of chefs couldn't save that bland endeavor.

You may have heard that he's since contracted to give the same treatment to Spain, albeit with better companions, a much bigger budget and thankfully free from the aegis of those tunnel-visioned goobers who run the Food Network. The result is Spain: On the Road Again, a PBS food show that appears, at least from this sneak peek recently plopped on Youtube, to be mostly about the lifestyles of the rich, famous and hungry. It's set to air in the fall, in primetime, no less. Of course, PBS's primetime might be Saturday at 9 a.m.

I love Batali. I like Mark Bittman (at least in print). I can even stand the waspy, prim Gwyneth Paltrow. But the show? We'll see. Check it out above.

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Sadly, he's only replacing him on the Food Network's Dinner Impossible. The show will also be extended to 60 minutes, now that there's no pinheaded Brit to get on the viewers' nerves.

If only this accomplished Cleveland chef, beloved by fellow Ohioan Michael Ruhlman and recently crowned the new Iron Chef America, would take a look at liar-liar-pants-on-fire Irvine's abandoned project in downtown St. Pete, too. We could use a real celebrity chef in the area, especially one with chops like Symon, in spite of the soul patch.

Whaddya think, Mike? [cleveland.com]

Let's recap the events leading up to the exciting conclusion of America's Next Food Network Hack next Sunday! Who will be tapped to "host whatever Sunday morning ghetto slot they have in store for the winner"(Bourdain's gone soft on the show over at Ruhlman)?

I haven't updated you on the status of this titannic competition since the beginning because, well, nothing's really happened. People stammered and stuttered on camera, mediocre food was made to look edible and people were dropped. No big whoop.

Let me help out the judges. If you were still, this late in the game, looking for that indefinable "star quality" out of the final contestants, you may as well give it up. All this show has proved is that almost any schmo with a little training and minimal stage presence can host a show on the Food Network. Is that the message you want to portray, Tuschman and friends? Mission accomplished.

This week, though, things have changed -- there's some drama! The judges slotted JAG into the final two, then managed to pick busty Rory over the milder, but vastly more competent Amy. But wait! Don't vote yet!

It turns out that JAG likes to pad his resume. Maybe it was a typo - "I meant to say that I had never been to Iraq and I did not graduate from cooking school." In a tearful confrontation, he comes clean with the judges, who pat him on his back and send him on his way with no hard feelings. Sad, 'cause he was the best cook of the bunch.

That does bring Amy back into the fold, which makes me happy. Her "gourmet next door" or whatever she names her "style" is always just an excuse to bring some serious French cooking into the kitchen. Me likee.

The final battle is up to you. Do you want Busty Horseteeth?

I haven't really commented yet on Top Chef, mainly because I wanted to give it a little time. In the past, it has run second place in my summer reality show hit list, behind Hell's Kitchen. Needless to say, considering the neanderthals Fox has recruited for the past two season's of HK, Top Chef has easily managed to take center stage. Here's a few reasons why:

1. Pretty much all of the Top Chef contestants can cook, some of them extremely well. That has become surprisingly rare in TV food shows.
2. The weekly competitions have morphed from the goofy scenarios of season 1 into interesting culinary challenges, where the framework is just a reason for some fine genre cooking.
3. The judges are a heck of a lot better. Colicchio and Simmons are almost likable.
4. Padme Lakshmi.