Life As We Blow It

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Life as we blow it: 2015 — Year of the Bro

Posted By on Wed, Dec 31, 2014 at 2:25 PM

You know what I wanna see less of in 2015?


Feminism — ugh! So many chicks thinking and talking, not wearing bikinis and, you know, demanding stuff. What the fuck, right? That’s pretty much exactly the opposite of what the girls on do, and that’s not even porn, it’s just where I order my fedoras. I don’t get it. We tell ’em they’re pretty (although some of ’em might be prettier if they smiled more), we offer to buy ’em drinks. What more do they want? I mean, I wish my life was that simple, you know? It would be great if all I had to worry about was what I was going to wear and if I was going to have to pay for my own bevvies.

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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Life as we blow it: Gone but not forgotten

Posted By on Thu, Jul 24, 2014 at 1:42 PM

The author onstage at Club More circa '00. - STACY MATHIS
  • Stacy Mathis
  • The author onstage at Club More circa '00.

Where you see live music often informs the experience every bit as much as what you’re seeing and hearing. Different environments have different vibes, and let’s face it — a concert doesn’t exist in a vacuum; no matter how much you love to bitch about the loudmouths at the bar, live music is a social experience.

But, just like everything else, venues come and go, often leaving fans with pleasant memories of a certain club with no hope of experiencing it again. It’s as true for the folks who play live music as it is for the ones in the crowd. One of the best things about forging relationships with musicians from around the country and the world is the opportunity to share stories about the long-gone joints of someone else’s hometown, and find the common ground that almost always crops up during such conversations.

In that spirit, here are five late Tampa Bay venues I won’t ever forget, because each of them contributed to some of my favorite — or at least most memorable — music-scene moments.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Life As We Blow It: Cunning canine

Posted By on Wed, Jul 9, 2014 at 2:56 PM

Bentley, probably planning something. - REBECCA HARRELL
  • Rebecca Harrell
  • Bentley, probably planning something.

One of our dogs, Bentley, looks like a cross between a crotchety old man and Falcor from The NeverEnding Story. Which is perfect, because, while he’s loving and clever, he’s also moody and stubborn.

Very stubborn.

We’re not sure what Bentley’s backstory is, but it made him smart and independent and pretty damned sure he’s not gonna do what he doesn’t want to do. It’s a bit like I’m Clarice Starling living with a furry little Hannibal Lecter — I understand that he respects me to a point, in an amused sort of way, but I still don’t go to sleep until I know he’s asleep.

And sometimes he’s faking.

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Thursday, June 26, 2014

Pride Issue 2014: Straight to pride

Posted By on Thu, Jun 26, 2014 at 1:56 AM

  • Nick Cardello

“What you were saying earlier, about your boss and his husband — so your boss is a homosexual?”

Ya gotta love Mom — she’s not even sure it’s OK for her to say “gay.”

St. Pete Pride’s impending weekend festivities are probably not something my mother would enjoy. Not because she’s a homophobe, but simply because she’s a little lady in her 70s, whose idea of fun runs more toward two glasses of wine and some cards with the family than a teeming throng of extroverted revelers whose collective sartorial expressiveness might (read: probably will) run the gamut from an Uncle Sam costume to a gold lamé banana-hammock. (I gotta get her to a drag show at some point, though. I think she’d enjoy that immensely.)

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

Life as we blow it: A little too auto

Posted By on Thu, Jun 5, 2014 at 4:07 AM


Driverless cars.

Driverless cars!

The future is here! Safety! Fuel efficiency! Environmental friendliness! It’s the single greatest technological development in the history of humanity!

Oh, wait — no, it’s not. It’s the dumbest thing we’ve done yet.

Why not take the single most destructive threat to the communal fabric of society, and make it even more disaffecting and entitling? What’s the worst thing that could happen?

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Monday, May 12, 2014

Harvard students to hold Satanic "black mass" tonight

Posted By on Mon, May 12, 2014 at 10:40 AM


First the statue at the Oklahoma State House, and now this: Members of a Harvard student group plan to hold a Satanic black mass tonight at a space on the school's campus, as part of, you know, totally checking out everything the world has to offer.

Posters and fliers announcing the "reenactment" have been showing up all over campus, worrying Christian students, conservative parents and particularly the Archdiocese of Boston — due to the widely accepted notion that mocking Catholics and blaspheming the traditional elements of a regular mass are an important part of any official Satanic service.

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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Life As We Blow It: Fit to be killed

Posted By on Wed, Apr 23, 2014 at 2:45 PM

  • Wikicommons

Back in February, the Pew Research Center released the results of a poll showing a steep decline in Americans’ support for the death penalty.

I don’t really think that’s what the poll shows, however.

I think the poll shows a sharp increase in the number of Americans who are sick of being forced to defend their belief in the death penalty. Capital punishment is both unpopular and on the decline. Nobody wants to back a loser. And few people want to bring dinner party conversation to a screeching halt by admitting that, while they support Obamacare and a woman’s right to choose, they also think that some people don’t deserve to live, and that governing bodies have a responsibility to inform citizens that their safety’s more important than that of someone demonstrably lacking in essential humanity.

Being viewed as pro-death, in any context, is generally not good for one’s reputation.

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Hyde Park was home

Posted By on Wed, Apr 9, 2014 at 8:37 PM

SoHOMES: The new Post SoHo condo complex is another sign of a changing Hyde Park. - TODD BATES
  • Todd Bates
  • SoHOMES: The new Post SoHo condo complex is another sign of a changing Hyde Park.

Driving down South Howard on an early weekday afternoon, really taking in the area for the first time in maybe a decade and a half — the proliferation of hip restaurants, shiny condos and chic office buildings that, for me, might as well have occurred the night before — I was struck by two thoughts.

The first was about the sheer, staggering amount of change that has taken place.

And the second was about how little that change impacted me on a personal level.

Hyde Park is looking good, in the way that historically funky, quasi-urban neighborhoods always do after the money and the development roll in. Generally speaking, when that happens, a lot of folks who remember the good, gritty old days tend to get more than a little bitter about it. They’re more interested in remembering the way things used to be, and how much that affected who they became, than in waxing orgasmic about the new holistic spa and vegan laundromat.

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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Life As We Blow It: Dream a little dream

Posted By on Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 9:50 AM

On Friday, the New York Times Magazine published an excellent piece by writer Eve Fairbanks called, “How Did Sleep Become So Nightmarish?” (It’s available online; go ahead, I’ll wait.) In it, she articulates many of the loose and often vaguely worrying notions about sleep that have been skittering around my own brain for a while now — often, ironically enough, when I’m trying to get some rest.
PLUGGING IN TO DISCONNECT: A number of smartphone apps are available for optimizing your sleep habits.
  • PLUGGING IN TO DISCONNECT: A number of smartphone apps are available for optimizing your sleep habits.

In her piece, Fairbanks considers how a “capitalization” of sleep has emerged from our work-culture’s obsession with productivity. She points out how, just a decade or so ago, we never would have thought to worry about how to set ourselves up to get the best sleep possible, in order to optimize our brains (and, by extension, ourselves) to wring the maximum productivity out of them the following day.

We slept because we were fucking tired.

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Thursday, January 30, 2014

The curse of crowdfunding

It would work if it weren’t for the crowd.

Posted By on Thu, Jan 30, 2014 at 3:41 PM

Kickstarter! Indiegogo! Gofundme!

The future is now! The millennials did it! They found a way to saw through the Achilles tendon of big business, like undead Gage Creed sawed through the Achilles tendon of Jud Crandall in the film adaptation of Pet Sematary! Patronage is the way to go! Capitalism, your days are numbered!

Except not really.

Because people ruin everything.

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