It’s that time of year again, kiddies. Summer is officially over (temperatures soon to drop as low as 89 degrees), the entitled, undisciplined, pampered little high school hooligans are now the local government’s problem until Thanksgiving, and football season, proof that there is a God and He loves us (or is it the G-word now? I can’t keep up) is here. Time for tailgates, tents, coolers, car flags, barbecues, beer breakfasts, and to locate that one pair of shorts that doesn’t show butt-sweat… as much. I can almost smell the tasty aroma wafting from a nearby Port-O-Let already.
Football!
So our beloved Buccaneers had a pretty interesting offseason, no? After last season’s 2-14 shit sandwich… I mean, rebuilding year (sorry, autocorrect), this team had more gaping offensive holes than Miley Cyrus. So, what does a team tend to do when the offensive line is full of matadors and the coordinator got a note from his doctor excusing him for the season (true story)? Why, you cut the quarterback, of course. Yep, that oughta fix it. The Bucs sent surfer dude Josh McCown to the Browns at the mistake by the lake where he’s projected to start ahead of Johnny Highball, leaving an even bigger hole at the position in Tampa Bay. And for those of us who paid attention in geology, the hole’s only natural enemy is the pile.
Enter Jameis Winston. Ever heard of him? If not, feel free to return to that single-shooter game. Those Cheetos won’t eat themselves.
For the rest of you, needless to say, the FSU rookie blew into Tampa Bay with both the fanfare of a savior and the ridicule of a bust. Whether you love him or hate him (and you must choose one or the other or be arrested), he’s a pewter pirate now, and fans are left to hope to be proven right… or wrong.
Trust me, I don’t want to beat a dead horse on whether or not this was a good pick. That poor horse has gone to the glue factory and is now part of a child’s macaroni art project on the refrigerator. (How long are you supposed keep that crap up there, anyway?) But I will say this, because nobody else has brought it up: I’m not as concerned about him getting arested, suspended, maced by a cop or coed, or even escorted from Crabby Bill’s as I am about this…
What happens when he starts losing?
I’m a big believer of learning from losing (I’ve “learned” a lot over the years). It’s how you improve, grow, mature, get better, and, more importantly, realize the world didn’t come to an end just because you lost a football game. Even Winston’s biggest athletic supporters admit his maturity is a little on the questionable side. They’ve also assured us that he’s a winner.
“All he knows how to do is win.”
That’s not necessarily a good thing in my opinion. In his entire college career, he lost once. His last game. There was nothing to prove he could bounce back and recover. His next challenge was what to buy first with the $16 million paycheck he received for signing on the dotted line. Hell, that would make anyone feel better after losing to Oregon.
Rookies lose. It happens to the best of them. It will happen to Jameis. It’s easy to smile and snap towels on the asses of your teammates after a win. I’m interested in how he handles himself on the podium after yet another multi-interception loss. Nobody knows how he’ll handle it because he’s never had to deal with it before.
Will he shrug his shoulders, learn from his mistakes and take that knowledge to the next game with the necessary amnesia of a Joe Montana? Or will he lose his god… damn mind on a reporter to trigger a shit-spiral into the obscurity of a Ryan Leaf?
Speculation becomes reality around 4-ish Sunday afternoon.
(And yes, I know he lost during the pre-season, but that’s the pre-season — the games don’t count and they pull the starters after the first half anyway. Once they play for reals, the mental test begins!)
Honorable Afterthoughts: Remember when defensive end Da’Quan Bowers was arrested at LaGuardia Airport for packing heat? Good times. Since then, thankfully he’s only been a disappointment on the field. This week, the 2nd round Clemson cupcake was finally released only four years late… Fan favorite and former Bucs kicker Connor Barth, who was reacquired a week ago (Yay!), was released again Saturday (Aww!)… Unless you count the preseason (and why the hell would you), if the Bucs beat the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, it will be the first win at home since December 8 — wait for it — 2013, when they beat the mighty Buffalo Bills. Man, were we ever that young? I mean, there were only SIX Fast and Furious movies back then, for God's sake… And finally, fans of both the Buccaneers and air conditioning will be pleased to know that none of the 2015 games will be blacked out, no matter what. There can literally be just me and my drunk buddy Joe in the stands cursing and crying and you lazy bastards will still get to watch the game in your boxers on the couch. You suck.
Almost time to ice down the Natty Light and grill up something dead. See y’all in the stands.
GO BUCS!
