Thursday, May 31, 2012
Hail Mary confessions of attraction
Posted by SWF on Thu, May 31, 2012 at 5:09 PM
A few nights ago I sat with a group of friends drinking. Throughout the night, the group morphed in size, but no matter how large or small it got, the group continuously got drunker. While I was laughing with a new friend about Game of Thrones, an old friend, who we'll call Bob, suddenly interrupted. Bob had recently broken up with his girlfriend. He also just found out that I would soon relocate to another city. He took the opportunity to tell me that he had been ridiculously attracted to me FOR YEARS and that he was "totally bummed" that I was leaving.
Even if I was attracted to Bob, he picked a terrible time to grow some balls and tell me how he felt. It was not as though I was going to put my plans on hold to explore a relationship with him. I had already committed to moving.
Then again, maybe Bob never wanted a relationship. Maybe he just wanted to have sex with me without worrying that it would compromise our friendship or lead to a relationship. Did he think that I would reverse psychologize (yep, it's a word) myself and realize this was my last chance to have sex with him?
This is not the first time this has happened. A few years ago when I was preparing to move abroad, other male friends suddenly confessed their attraction to me. I understand the impulse. Guys that have been too scared about being rejected or ruining our friendship realize this may be their last chance to admit their feelings. Unfortunately for them, this is a terrible time for me to seriously consider their confessions as anything but a last minute, Hail Mary attempt to sleep with me.
While preemptively telling a woman how much you like her may be a little different than texting her every few months to tell her you miss her, both actions have the same solution. Do no wait to confess your feelings until the girl you like enters a new relationship, gets engaged, or announces that she is moving. If you like someone, let her know as soon as you know, provided you are both single and you have the balls to act on your attraction. If you simply want to have a fling before the object of your affection moves away, be honest. Cut the emotional foreplay. She will still most likely say no, but there is an off chance she may be up for some strings-free sex with a friend.
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