Tampa Bay Lightning owner Jeff Vinik, or as I like to call him, Bizarro-Glazer, has decided to once again go against stereotype and offer to invest his, not our, money into possibly purchasing Channelside Bay Plaza. Just a Stamkos slapshot away from the Tampa Bay Times Forum, the troubled retail complex has had more than its share of business misfires, and outside of Stumps, Splitzville and Hooters, isn't known for much else unless you enjoy staring at giant pants and no sleeves. Seriously, tank tops need to be outlawed. There's just something disgusting about the ability to apply deodorant after you've completely dressed. Gross.
Originally developed by a Chicago-based Japanese company, later owned by a deadbeat New York scumbag, and currently owned by the Irish government (huh?), yeah, it would be refreshing to have a local investor who cares about this city redevelop a complex you can walk to from a concert, hockey game, or (cough) maybe a baseball game (cough). Oh, no he didn't!
Speaking of baseball and New York scumbags, theTampa Bay Rays gently crammed a broomstick up Yankee Nation's ass over the weekend by taking all three games in the series to begin the season. The evil empire with players making more than our entire franchise haven't been 0-3 since 1998 when I was singing into my hairbrush to "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion...I mean Aerosmith.
Rounding up the scumbag trifecta: Ex-Buccaneer butthole Warren Sapp.
Sapp has filed Chapter 7 bankruptcy, owing millions to creditors, hundreds of thousands in child support to at least four women (you mean four human beings found this marshmallow man attractive?), almost a cool million to Uncle Sam, and an engraved apology to the Tampa Bay area for going above and beyond at being a total dick. Nice to know we live in a country where an irresponsible asshole with 240 pairs of Jordan sneakers can get a do-over while the rest of us non-assholes with one pair of Asics and still read menus from right to left can still manage to pay our bills like grownups.