Thursday, March 22, 2012

'Blow', booze, and Stormy Daniels's boobs: a drinking game for a Tampa porno

Posted By on Thu, Mar 22, 2012 at 6:00 AM

Stormy_Daniels_wicked_pictures_blow_cover_art_dvd.jpg
When you ride the trolley around downtown St. Petersburg, tour guides still mention how Cocoon was filmed here. That’s right. We’re still wowing visitors with the fact that a 1985 movie about geriatrics bathing in alien goop was shot in our city. If we’re going to celebrate our city’s third-rate connection to Hollywood, we should be equally as proud of Tampa Bay’s ties to mainstream porn.

At the NightMoves Adult Awards Show this October, Stormy Daniels used her time in Tampa, and the pool of porn stars the show attracted, to bang out the porno, Blow. To celebrate the Tampa talent and scenery featured in the film, Daniels and some actors from the film will be premiering the movie this Saturday at Deja Vu. To enhance your viewing pleasure, and to help defuse the awkwardness of watching a porno in a group, I created the below drinking game to accompany the x-rated action. (Keep in mind that this game is in no way affiliated with, or condoned by, Wicked Pictures or Stormy Daniels. It was created for novelty purposes and should not be engaged in by any sane person who values their health or sobriety.)

For this game, “a drink” implies a hearty gulp of beer or a mixed drink. If you shoot liquor for each of these, you will die. Also, when watching a porno in a group, I recommend fast-forwarding through the sex scenes on the slowest speed, unless of course you're gearing up for an orgy, for which my only advice is to not judge the gender of a person based on their ass alone.

Stormy Daniels
  • Stormy Daniels
-At any time during the porno a player can call a “pants check,” at which point every man must stand. Any man who refuses to stand or who shows the slightest bulge of arousal—as determined by the other players—must chug a beer. Conversely, a female player must drink any time she comments on any aspect of the film or the sex scenes as being unrealistic or dirty.

-If anyone spends more than one minute in the bathroom, or out of view of the group, he or she must chug a beer upon his or her return.

-A player must drink anytime he or she questions the plot, story, or who a character is? This is a porno not an episode of Law & Order.

-The first player to point out the clue that the first outdoor scene was not filmed in Tampa gets to assign two drinks. (Answer: the sizable hill in the background).

-The first person to correctly identify a Tampa location gets to assign two drinks.

-Drink anytime the film cuts to a swampy river. While the camera floats downstream during the opening credits, players should guess if a dead body will be dumped in the swamp by the film’s end. During the end credits, the loser(s) must take two drinks.

-Drink when Jack Vegas snorts “cocaine” then delivers his first line with a nose full of flour.
(Fun Fact: The weekend this scene was shot, Vegas got stuck in the elevator of his Tampa hotel while he was in route to the bathroom.)

-Drink each time one of Stormy Daniels’s nipples pops out of her top. They tend to pop out independent of each other so stay vigilant.

-Drink when you realize the master bedroom in several of the scenes contains a built-in viewing area with chairs and a couch set up facing the bed.

-The first person to figure out the theme of Brendon Miller’s sleeve of tattoos gets to assign two drinks? (Hint: it's from a 1980s cartoon)

-Drink when you first notice that a patch of pubic hair is concealing a tattoo.

-The first person to point out a nipple or clit piercing gets to make everyone else drink.

-Drink when the camera switches back to Sarah Vandella during the orgy scene and she is suddenly coated in sweat because she has sex like a thoroughbred.

-Drink every time Paul Allen’s character “Ricardo Valdez” speaks in a Cuban accent.
(Fun Fact: Paul Allen also appeared as a cigar smoking mob boss in Stormy Daniels's 2009 film, Wack Jobs. Despite having the voice and look of a gangster, Allen is a huge Star Trek fan—his office is covered with trek posters, toys, and commemorative plates.)

-During Marcus London’s sex scene with Carmen Valentina, guess how tall each actor is. The player(s) who gets closest to each height can assign two drinks.
(Answer: Marcus London is around 5’7” and Carmen Valentina is 5’)

-During the climactic fight scene, drink ever time someone lands a decisive kick from the ground. (Hint: it happens 3 times.)

-At the end of the porno, each player must guess which actors are dating/married off screen. For each of the three couples a player gets correct, he/she gets to assign two drinks.
(Answers: Stormy Daniels and Brendon Miller. Marcus London and Devon Lee. Carmen Valentina and the Hispanic FBI agent, Alfonso)

Follow Alfie on Twitter or Facebook and email him if interested in writing about Sex & Love

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Latest in Daily Loaf

More by Sex and Love editor

Search Events

CL's Twitter Feed

© 2014 SouthComm, Inc.
Powered by Foundation

Web Analytics