Monday, October 31, 2011

Top 10 horror movie scenes that will scare you away from sex (videos and pics NSFW)

Posted By on Mon, Oct 31, 2011 at 9:08 AM

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Horror movies are often metaphors. Their underlying message: if you have premarital sex, you deserve to be impaled by a homicidal maniac. This lesson is so pronounced in the world of horror films that the moment a character takes off her top, her life expectancy drops to mere minutes. The only exception to this rule is when the one getting naked is the monster/killer. Still, these supremely evil beings are expected to be nymphomaniacs who use their sex appeal to lure in victims with no self-control—that and they do eventually die, just at the end of the film.

In recent years horror film morality has shifted with the times. Now, premarital sex and nudity is not always enough to condemn a character to death. More and more, horror directors have to slip in the idea that a couple is having unprotected sex in order to justify their impending death. What these films are trying to teach teens is that if you have sex without a condom, you will die, or at the very least your life will be ruined by an evil that grows inside you.

With that said, here is a list of the top 10 scenes in horror films that will scare you away from sex.

10. Angel Heart (1987): The most disturbing thing about this movie is that a steamy sex scene is spoiled by the need to make the scene relevant to the plot. That and the director feels the need to accomplish this by pouring blood on the actor's naked bodies. The below clip shows all of the hot action between a young Mickey Rourke and The Cosby Show's, Lisa Bonet, up until they are drenched in someone else's blood.

9. Species (1995): While Natasha Henstridge's alien character looks great naked, like many overly attractive women, she is slightly insane. She spends most of the movie trying to find a suitable mate (i.e. victim) to impregnate her, at which point spikes pop out of her spine. Beyond the usual message to always wear a condom, and that a mutating evil often lurks in women who look beautiful and clean on the outside, this film carries the warning not to have unprotected sex with beautiful, illegal aliens. They just want to use you to get pregnant.

8. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981): Jason hates when attractive young people take off their clothes because he is so ugly that he has to wear a hockey mask everywhere he goes. While the couple in this scene is getting their penetration on, Jason decides to jump into the action, impaling them both simultaneously with a spear. In a way it is kind of romantic, two young lovers dying in each other's arms—romantic at least by horror movie standards.

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7. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993): This scene was a public service announcement about having sex in an illuminated tent. Anyone can see what you're doing and these voyeurs can totally ruin the mood by doing something uncool, like impaling your hot girlfriend while she is riding you, then slice through her torso. Just so audiences did not feel too bad for this couple, Michelle Clunie's character tosses the condom they were going to use aside. Even if Jason had not performed this mercy killing, or their lives had not been doomed by an incurable STD or child, they would have likely been killed off soon enough by another one of their poor decisions.

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6. Galaxy of Terror (1981): There is little that is more terrifying than being violated by a giant, maggot that covers you in goo.

5. Species 2 (1998): What sequel horror flicks lack in originality, they often compensate for in shock value. The twist in Species 2 is that the hot alien running around trying to make babies is a man. Unfortunately for his victims, his sperm is fast acting, and his offspring have the propensity to burst out of their mother's stomach soon after conception. Still, I must applaud the film's message that yes, you can get pregnant in a threesome.

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4. Nekromantik 2 (1991): It sucks when the woman you are hooking up with is obsessed with her ex, especially if she decapitates you during sex and switches your head out with that of her dead lover.

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3. Re-Animator (1985): While I have heard tales of guys giving horrific head, nothing compares to the image of the re-animated Dr. Hill using his decapitated head to perform an oral exam on a coed, played by Barbara Crampton.

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2. Society (1989): This scene is a perfect example of why American censorship boards are completely backwards in their thinking by deeming nudity as obscene while approving repulsive clips like this for family friendly websites like Youtube. While there is technically no nudity in this orgy, the bodies of the sex party participants just sort of melt into each other in a soupy sex slime.

1. Teeth (2007): This film is based on the premise that Jess Weixler's character has Vagina Dentata. Her virginal sex organ chomps off anything that gets near it without permission. While most male viewers will be cupping their cowering dicks by the end of the movie, hopefully this independent film will make some guys think twice before trying to pressure a woman into having sex.

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