For the past few days, St. Pete has been abuzz with the news that the adorable Zach Braff may be in town. The wheres, whys and hows have been all over Twitter and finally, we bring you the answers. Booyah credible news sources, you have been scooped!
Alright so it all started this week when Zach Braff tweeted, "What is the most fun thing to do when one is in St. Petersburg, Florida?" After a bit he followed up with "Most popular answers so far are "leave" and "Dali museum". Think I'll try the museum. ;)"
OTHER media outlets sent their peeps to the Dali museum. I chose to take my chances with every bar in St. Pete. I figured that it was my journalistic duty to cover the area as best possible. Also, I am selfish. Let's be honest, I need to marry Zach Braff and this is it, this is my one opportunity to bring him into my world so that he can fall in love with me on my own turf, where I am the most charming and popular. After a whirlwind romance we would get married and have babies with noses that are a little too big for their faces, because well, that is just genetics. Yes, this is fate. Despite my efforts and passion, I found zero Zachs.
Saturday, Mr. Braff tweeted this picture and Sunday, this tweet:"Today I went to a waterpark. Still in the shower." I imagine he was at Adventure Island and I have never felt more of an urge to ride the lazy river in all my life, and if you know me, you know I effing love the lazy river.
Monday we got more answers with this Twint* "me and a fan in st. petersburg, fl http://say.ly/FjeFIp" The Pier!!!! Zach Braff was on the Pier?! WTF UNIVERSE! That was my reaction because I live like, really really close to the Pier! Ugh.
Now, I am researching like a mo-fo at this point. I have even used the "I work for a local paper and radio station and would love to interview you while you are in town" tweet-tactic but no response. I just need to know why he is here. Then it happened, the tweet that solved the mystery, "my brother @joshuabraff has a lot of baseball figurines. but he's lost all of their bats. http://say.ly/cpuFKe." HIS BROTHER LIVES HERE!
More intense googling leads to me to discover that his brother, Joshua Braff, is an author, and although his official website claims he lives in California, it's a liar. More googling to the point that it's gotten intensely creepy pointed me toward Jill Braff, wife of Joshua, who works at HSN. Boom!!!!!!!!
Zach Braff is here in St. Pete visiting his brother's family for a little Labor Day vacay. Zach, if you read this, I am really sorry. I am not this creepy on a normal basis but I have had three full days off and I have no idea what to do with myself. But for realz, I would love to interview you for Play 98.7 and Creative Loafing. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org and set something up. Kthanks, Xoxo, Amanda ;)
*That's a Twitter-hint. Duh.