Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Brett Favre's penis pics: what not to do when sexting (VERY NSFW)

Posted By on Tue, Dec 14, 2010 at 3:18 PM

click to enlarge Brett Favre penis pics sexting cell phone jenn stergis

A video was recently released featuring the creepy cellphone messages and penis pics Brett Favre sent former Jets sidelines reporter, Jenn Sterger. While other bloggers are busy debating whether these are really pictures of Favre's dick, if he's an asshole for trying to cheat on his wife, and what punishment he should receive, I've decided to use these alleged celebrity penis pics to illustrate a truly important issue: the do's and don'ts of sexting for men. (Keep in mind that the below rules are for men sending pictures to women. Sexting rules are completely different for gay men.)

1. Never sext a picture of your dick to a new love interest as a seduction tactic: This may come as a shock, but what turns men on (i.e. pictures of a potential sex partner's genitals) isn't necessarily what turns women on. Women are aroused by a much wider array of attributes than physical appearance. You're more likely to win over a new lover with clever texts or humorous pictures than with images of your dangling manhood. If anything, these pictures will only show her that you have no idea what turns women on. This is particularly true when trying to coax a new lover into a sexual liaison. As a rule, wait for her to initiate sexting then proceed with caution.

2. Most women aren't turned on by dicks:

click to enlarge brett favre penis picture sext jenn sterger_edited-1
You're better off sexting her pictures of your smile or your abs than your unsheathed short sword. Of course there are the rare exceptions, like CL contributor Rebecca Ammon who has a virtual database of dick pics men have sent her. But she keeps these more for her own amusement than for masturbatory fodder.

3. Assume people other than the intended audience will see your sext message: Sext messages are rarely viewed exclusively by the intended recipient. If she is a potential lover, expect her to get offended and share the picture with her coworkers, friends, or forward it to your wife. If you're famous, expect it to be leaked online. Even if you're in a loving relationship, assume that your lover will turn into an evil bitch and use it to embarrass you after you break up. If you're still comfortable with everyone seeing pictures of your dick, go for it.

4. Don't include identifying details:

click to enlarge brett favre penis picture sext jenn sterger 3
This is something Brett Favre managed to do relatively well. While his wife will surely be able to tell if these images are the real thing, very few others will. Favre kept the pictures tight on his junk with nothing in the background that could identify him.

5. Do some manscaping: Just because you're an iconic man's man who wears "rugged" Wranglers and drives a truck doesn't mean you're exempted from manscaping before sexting. In fact, a real man's man wouldn't sext in the first place. I'm sure the first guys to start shaving their beards were called sissies, but now it's expected. Grooming your junk is becoming just as important, and common, as grooming your facial hair. Sure there are the hippy women who don't mind a mound of crotch cotton, but these are also the women who don't mind bearded hipsters who don't shower. And yeah, leave a little stubble to prove you're a man but no one wants to see your swampy pubes. If nothing else, it will make your dick look bigger and cleaner.

6. Don't take dick pics while lying down:

click to enlarge brett favre penis picture sext jenn sterger 2
A dick is awkward enough as it is, but there's just something unsettling about seeing a man's naked legs sprawled out limply on a bed beyond the dick. Be a man. Take the picture from a standing position.

7. Dress up your dick: Consider the background. Your dick is going to look all the more unappealing if it appears with your sloppy bedroom or a toilet in the background. Class it up. Consider wearing pants or underwear and pulling your dick through the fly. This eliminates your balls (which no woman is aroused by), messy pubes, and your hairy thighs.

Follow Alfie on Twitter or Facebook,

and email him if interested in writing about Sex and Love.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments (11)

Showing 1-11 of 11

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-11 of 11

Add a comment

Latest in Daily Loaf

More by Sex and Love editor

Search Events

CL's Twitter Feed

© 2014 SouthComm, Inc.
Powered by Foundation

Web Analytics