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Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Faking it: does everyone really do it?
Posted by Rebecca Ammon on Wed, Aug 11, 2010 at 6:00 AM
Many are confused when it comes to the ethics of faking an orgasm. When I recently asked hundreds of people if it's ok to fake an orgasm, I got a barrage of ugly messages and emails claiming the act of faking it is completely wrong. Yet when I asked if it was alright to fake noises to intensify the experience I got a resounding yes, literally from around the world.
Who made up this rule that all parties must orgasm during sex? I know we all want to have mind blowing orgasms every time we copulate, but the fact is that it's just not always going to happen.
Recently Creative Loafing's Sex and Love Editor wrote the controversial piece "The more she screams, the
more likely she is faking it." Even more disturbing to the fanatically orgasmic males and females is the statement from that article that more than 25% of these women regularly faked orgasms with vocalizations and 90% of the time they did this because they knew they wouldn’t climax.
This isn't news to most, but it has come as a big surprise to a few. Fisher and Seth from 97x frequently discuss the fact that women fake orgasms, as do men. Fisher admitted recently that he faked an orgasm because he knew it just wasn't going to happen. Several other males secretly confessed to me that they have faked an orgasm because their partner just wasn't doing it for them.
On the other end of the spectrum was Seth and his fear of not knowing what is real and what is fake. The fact that his girlfriend Phoebe of 3+ years has at one time or another faked an orgasm with him is completely horrifying. In reality, this is completely normal. Women want their partners to feel good about what is going on. Are we always going to orgasm? No. Sometimes it takes getting to know someone, feeling comfortable, and learning each others needs to make things work perfectly.
I myself am a vibrator-dependent gal. Try as you may - it's just not going to happen the organic way. I don't fake orgasms, but at times I do vocalize a bit more to raise the level of excitement. Some guys just don't know the difference and may believe my moaning is a sign of orgasmic pleasure, but don't fool yourself men, it's not. As a swinger and entrepreneur of sex partners, I am always on the edge of getting to know someone new. I can't expect them all to go down on me like the battery operated magic wand that makes me shake with delight.
Am I faking it? Maybe a little and I'm guessing you probably are too. Why not, everyone else is!
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