Thursday, May 13, 2010

Inappropriate coffeetable book review: It Looks Like a C**k

Posted by on Thu, May 13, 2010 at 8:40 AM

click to enlarge it looks like a cock ben jack book cloud

I know what you’re thinking: “If I’m going to buy a book about things that look like cocks, then the book itself damn well better look like a giant cock.”

Sadly, this isn’t the case with Ben and Jack’s new literary masterstroke, It Looks Like a C**k. Sure the cover features a fine picture of a phallic cloud dominating the sky like God's junk overshadowing our puny human penises, but the book itself is shaped more like a

box. Considering how readers spread the covers and explore the inner folds, the book is way more vaginal than phallic.

If one can look past this flawed design, the book does feature a spectrum of unmolested objects, some of which resemble cocks. These images raise a number of moral and philosophical questions, which, sadly, the authors fail to explore. Is God a fan of dick jokes? Do we subconsciously erect objects that look like cocks? Is the cock just an efficient geometric shape?

Pictures of the cock-objects are crammed into the book haphazardly with no concern for the various classes and categories, like edible or man-made. These classifications could even be further subdivided: cactus cocks, vegetable cocks, mushroom cocks, floral cocks, tree cocks, iceberg cocks, geologic cocks, meteorologic cocks, architectural cocks, aerospace cocks, and aerial pictograph cocks.

If I’m going to pay $10 for a book of cocks, I don’t want a child’s picture book. I want something thick enough to be, or be in, the Guinness Book of World Records. Something with some girth. Something you can physically knock out a friend with. Something so large and intrusive that it will overwhelm the ladies when they find it prominently displayed in your dorm bathroom.

Check out my review of How to Live with a Huge Penis.

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