Whenever I see a paraplegic dating, I can't help but wonder how these people have sex. Unfortunately the particulars of how paraplegics get it on is often a mystery even for many paralysis sufferers. Writer, Tre Trefethen, recently discussed the sensitive topic on the National Sexuality Resource Center's website in hopes of coaxing other paralegics to trade sex secrets.
While rehabilitating from his injuries, Trefethen was only given the standard lube job information and the warning not to grip his penis too tightly when it came to sex. The nurse's reminder that the brain is the largest sex organ was the equivalent of someone with a giant penis assuring you that size doesnt matter.
While masturbating, Trefethen couldn't feel his hand on his shaft, but he was able to produce pleasurable stomach spasms. Unfortunately, hours of trying to reach a climax only earned him red marks and frustration: I couldnt orgasm, I couldnt ejaculate, and like most men with spinal cord injury, I couldnt even maintain an erection.
A shot of Papaverine produced a sturdy erection, for several hours, but it left the head of his penis disproportionately small against his swollen shaft. Viagra solved this problem. But, he had to take this pill several hours before an anticipated encounter and it still didn't allow him to climax.
As with any permanent disability, the body tried to compensate. Trefethen's understanding of sex has blossomed from the rigid definition of sex as genital penetration. He enjoys heightened pleasure from sensual, as opposed to erotic, forms of play. During sex, he indulges all of his senses, including touch, smell, taste, and sight.
Trefethen's biggest concern isn't his paralyzed member but the silence surrounding sex among the disabled. Because many people are embarrassed to discuss this issue, there's a serious lack of helpful advice. Unfortunately the little advice that is available encompasses multiple disabilities. Every situation and injury is different and requires different solutions to sex. As a result, a kind of superstition exists in regards to how paraplegics can channel orgasms. Until Hustler kingpin, and paraplegic, Larry Flynt, produces a comprehensive guide for how SCI suffers get it on, many will continue to blindly search for their own solutions.