While searching the internet for highly informative news about sex, I found myself sidetracked by awkwardboners.com (Never mind how exactly I landed on this site). Once there, I couldnt help scrolling through the bevy of painfully hilarious photos of boners popping trouser tepees at the most inopportune times.
As far as I can tell, this site operates the same as the Rosetta Stone of modern pop cultural that is peopleofwalmart.com. Fans simply submit pictures of awkward boners theyve covertly captured with their cameras or cell phones. These photos are then posted, commented on, and ranked in terms of awkwardness by the viewing public.
no identifiable pictures of me appear on the site, I ran into a moral dilemma. Is it wrong to anonymously post pictures of other peoples awkward boners? Are public boners considered private property, or do they belong in the public domain? What if the boner operator is smiling? Shouldnt we all be able to enjoy an awkward boner or two from the safety of our own computer? What if the boner is wearing a bright bikini and is doing groin stretches? What if the boner is so large that instead of being awkward, it's simply impressive? What if the boner in question may be blamed on an optical illusion created by the crotch fold of slacks?
Luckily, I've come up with this quick reference list of when it's okay to post pictures of other people's boner.
-If the boner walks into a coffee shop wearing his daughter's sweatpants.
-If the boner is in spandex.
-If the boner is large enough to be considered a national threat.
-If the boner is famous.
-If the boner's owner is operating a megaphone.
-If the boner is wearing a costume.
-If the boner is at yoga class and the owner's face is covered by two women clinging to his head, and the surrounding hippies are applauding the demonstration of the master yoga pose, Flowering Man in Sweat Pants.
Feel free to comment with your own suggestions for when it is morally acceptable to anonymously post pictures of other peoples awkward boners.