Gift wrap it: I’m tired of friends and family having unplanned babies with women they sort of love. Unless you’re ready to have a kid or share an STD with your partner, wear a condom. If you don’t have a condom and the corner store is closed, resign yourself to a handjob. I don’t care if she says she just got tested and she’s on birth control. Even if such statements were always true, STD tests don't screen for everything and birth control isn't completely baby proof.

Be more spontaneous: Women love spontaneous, passionate men. Why? Because routine is boring.

If you have trouble being impulsive, pick a random day every month to attend a new event or restaurant (which you can easily find in your handy Creative Loafing). Even if you just end up missing your exit and driving to Sarasota, take charge. Turn accidents into adventures. At the very least, your woman will have a story to tell her friends. Who knows, you might even stumble on some scene you like, or which you can show to another date. This doesn’t just go for men in relationships. If you're single and unhappy, your routine obviously isn't working. Try something new, even if it's only going to a different bar or coffee shop. There's no tell who you might randomly bump into.

Actually plan a date: Inevitably, every couple has this conversation:

“What do you want to do tonight?"

"I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

Long term relationships have a tendency to grow stale if you don't make an effort to keep them exciting. Pretend your partner is a new love interest. Take charge. Make decisions. Actual take the time to plan a night out. Pick out a new restaurant,  show, or a new place to have cocktails.

Fuck her gently: Many woman enjoy a good jack hammering now and again, but if turbo is your only speed, you're in trouble. There’s a reason sex scenes in romance movies seemingly take hours and are scored by mellow piano music. Have a little self control. Think of sex more as a marathon than a sprint. Prolong the climax. Stop the action and move to the living room or the kitchen. Have some wine ready.

Make friends with men who have what you want: If you're bad at meeting women, make friends with guys who are great at it.  If you want to have an exciting or open relationship, make friends with a couple who does. You are defined by who you surround yourself with, so pick people you want to emulate.

Stop going back to her: If you’ve broken up with her five times, there's a good reason. Stop being a desperate little, selfish bitch and returning to her just because you’re lonely or horny. Each second you waste on her you're cock-blocking yourself from meeting someone who will make you happy.

Stop talking about your ex already: We get it. Your ex was a psycho bitch who totally fucked you over. But, I bet she's not wasting her time crying about how much of a pussy you are. No, she probably fucking someone else. Get over her. Be glad other women will even talk to you, and don't ruin this by mentioning your ex. It doesn't matter if you're bitching or saying how much you loved her; your current date doesn't want to deal with your baggage. She wants to be the only thing on your mind. Your ex is an ex for a reason, and if you don’t watch out, you’ll soon have a new ex to cry about.

Stop eye fucking other women: Trust me. Your girlfriend notices. If you're out spending time with your woman, your eyes should be on her. Ogle big busts and asses on your own time. As a general rule, it's only okay to look if your woman looks first. But, such glances should be followed by a negative comment like, “I bet those things give her back problems."

Go talk to her already: As seductive as your mysterious stares are, that hottie you’ve been eye fucking for the past hour is going to lose interest or pull out her mace if you don't make your move already. Stop waiting for some "accidental" encounter at the bar. By then she’ll be having a drink with a guy who had the balls to approach. Yes you'll probably get shot down, but this is one of the best things that can happen. The knowledge that rejection actually doesn’t hurt is one of the most powerful tools a successful dater can have.

Take a chance: Fortune favors the bold. So do blowjobs. Being afraid, especially in a relationship, is no way to live. Take a chance. Talk to that woman who is out of your league. Break up with a girlfriend who is taking you for granted. Dare to look like a fool. If you're not risking anything, you aren't doing anything worthwhile. Stay up all night at a friend's party even though you have to work in the morning. Stop being such a pussy. Go on a date with a woman you don't find all that attractive.  You may actually like her, or, she may have hot friends. You only live once. The pain of rejection, embarrassment, or a slap on the cheek is nothing compared to the sting of regret.

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