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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Marriage for love or faith?
Posted by Rebecca Ammon on Wed, Nov 18, 2009 at 10:30 AM
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I'm still amazed when I hear about someone getting married because of faith and not love. Take Alex for instance. Alex is a friend of a friend who reminded me how some people still hide who they are in order to be accepted by church or family. Alex is gay, yet he lives the life of a straight man to his friends, family, church, and even his fiance.
The upcoming nuptials are a sham so that Alex may continue to be loved and accepted by his family and church. If Alex were to come out to his family they would be obligated to inform the church and he would be excommunicated. His honesty would alienate him from the faith he was raised to love and most importantly, his family.
Countless others have attempted to pull off this charade for reasons other than religion. Former New Jersey Governer, Jim McGreevey, struggled with his sexual identity in his marriage and much of his life. The truth finally came out, but at what expense?
As Alex goes through with the marriage, will he be saddened with the direction his life has taken? He has accepted the fact that he is gay and is attempting not to act in a manner that is unacceptable to the church, but will this lead to a fulfilling life? Will his first night as a married man be what he expects, or will he be frightened enough to turn away?
In the end, Alex may concede to living his life as a heterosexual man, and that is okay if he accepts that. I personally believe you should not have to pretend to be someone you are not. But, if your sexual identity is worth losing your religion and those you love over, then maybe concealment is a viable option. We all must choose how to live our lives. If that means Alex chooses to live as a heterosexual or homosexual, so be it.
I hope that Alex finds his happiness. If it isn't with this woman, religion, or family, perhaps he'll finds it within himself. Remember, only you can make you happy.
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