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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sex talk: a tale of two sisters
Posted by Miss Ginger Millay on Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 4:25 PM
Boners, dykes, pubes, drag queens - I've discussed it all with my 13-year-old sister, Rose. We have a sort of no-holds-barred relationship; she can ask me anything and I'll be completely honest. Growing up, my Bubbi and I shared the same sort of communication and I treasured it, so I wanted to offer this kind of relationship to my sisters.
Without batting an eye, I've explained condoms, abortions, why I'm bisexual or "half-lesbian," and, to her surprise, that women get armpit hair. But recently, Rose asked something that gave me pause. She wanted to know why I don't date hot guys.
My initial response was just that other things matter more to me than looks, but I surely owed her more than that. These are formative years for Rose. With my mom and middle sister, both proponents of "hot" guys, serving as her main influences, I don't want her to think looks are all that matter when it comes to dating.
Our society is obsessed with physical attractiveness. As I write this, sitting in Manhattan's newly-reopened Highline Park, I can't help but overhear the two bikini-clad girls laying nearby, "He's hot, but like so shallow."
"Well," I began, looking into my sister's wide, blue eyes, "the people I date are generally interesting, intelligent, low-drama and good in bed." That last one made her blush, but, hey - I'm being honest.
"The more interesting they are, the more attractive I find them."
"But don't you ever just think a guy is hot?" she asked.
"Nah, doesn't really happen," I replied. "I think women are hot all the time, but men, not so much. It's just the way I'm wired, I guess. But it works out, 'cause I never go for stuck-up jerks who think they're all that and a bag of tits."
"Okay, but… don’t you wanna have cute babies?" Rose asked with a giggle.
"Babies are cute by default…especially if they're yours."
"Well, yeah," she replied.
She did bring up the interesting point of choosing a life partner, someone with whom you might want to pop out moderately-attractive offspring.
"Falling in love is a different story all together," I told her. "That just happens and it's thrilling and scary and totally illogical. But you don't fall in love with most people you date. I date plenty of guys who I like and enjoy, but don't fall for. They tend to be interesting, intelligent, low-drama and, if they get there, good in bed."
"But wouldn't you like to fall in love with a hot guy?" Rose asked.
"Well," I replied. "It doesn't matter if other people find him attractive as long as I do. In fact, it's better that way…less competition!"
"True dat," she nodded. "I still wanna date a hot guy, though."
"That's cool, as long as he's nice to you."
"Duh," she replied.
Duh, indeed.
More more, check out Miss Ginger's blog at GingerMillay.com & Twitter @MyGingersnaps.
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