Friday, July 24, 2009

Why women have sex with 'bad boys' and marry nice guys

Posted By on Fri, Jul 24, 2009 at 2:47 PM

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We all know someone who thinks of himself as a "bad boy," the kind of guy who claims he can "mack" on any "hooze bag" in a bar. The name "bad boy" is slightly misleading. When I think of bad, I think of UFC fighters or extreme athletes. For the most part, "bad boys" are more of the poser, douche bag variety—the kind of guys who wear trendy clothes featuring the brands of UFC fighters or extreme sports. Douches tend to be ultra conformists who follow trends, are hyper narcissistic, and are completely self centered dick weeds. These are the dudes I spent my high school years hating, and my college years trying to take a few tips from. Despite what you think about douches, they seemingly feast on an endless buffet of one-night-stands.

There are a few commonsense explanations for why douche bags are able to "bang" your prettiest girlfriend while you're stuck consoling her on the phone when he won't return her calls. Women like men with confidence. Douche bags are supremely confident despite the fact that they rarely have a reason to be. Also, douches are too self-centered to care if they offend a woman when they're upfront about wanting sex, say grinding on her ass at a club or asking her if she wants to come back to his mother's house. Then there's the theory that douche bags have such a distorted sense of reality that they greatly exaggerate their sexual conquests. In other words, douches don't get laid nearly as much as they talk about getting laid, and the "hotties" they score with aren't always the type of women you would want to be seen in public with.

But take heart nice guys. New research shows that while these "bad boys" might be better at "hooking up," you'll do better in long term relationships. Not to mention that reckless "bad boy" behaviors, or what is called "dark triad personality traits," often have bad consequences, like a "pimp ass" case of herpes or a "baller" child support payment.

"We would traditionally consider these dark triad traits to be adverse personality traits, and we think women would avoid these kinds of men, but what we show is counterintuitive — that women are attracted to these bad boys and they do pretty well in terms of sheer numbers of sexual partners," Jonason explained. "They're taking quantity over quality as their sexual agenda, being serially monogamous and having multiple partners or one-night stands."

Jonason compared the type of "dark triad bad boy" that the study refers to as a modern-day James Bond figure — a man with little empathy for others, a penchant for fast cars and even faster women, and a seeker of short-term rather than long-term goals — especially concerning the opposite sex.

But,

While some of these males may be more successful at short-term sexual relationships, their overall success with long-term relationships is often compromised by their dark triad traits.

"The manipulative 'It's all about me, so tell 'em anything to get sex' behavior is likely to have more short-term sexual success," Worthington said. "A strategy of building trust and intimacy and commitment is, by nature, going to take longer. Thus, the payoffs are likely to be greater in the short term. However, long-term relationship survival is likely to be strongly disadvantaged in people with dark triad traits."

Read more at abcnews.com

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