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Last week I met “Broadway Mary,” the first and only call girl I’ve ever come in contact with.  When I stopped to ask for directions I had no idea what I was in for. As it turned out Mary was in Ybor City on “business” that had fallen through.  Her ride was an hour away so we struck a deal.

Something about my line of work sparked her interest and she too shared how she paid the bills.  At first I thought she was kidding.  We engaged in a lively conversation about sex, love, and the life of a call girl.  After 20 minutes I suspected she was scouting me as a new potential client. But I’m sure any male with a functioning ego would feel the same.  I made it clear I ain't here on business, I'm only here for fun. That’s when the interview was hatched.  Her answers seemed text book.  When her "manager" called to meet up with her, I had no idea how much was about to fall into my lap.

“Mr. Darcy” didn't fit my vision of a pimp. He was tall, regal, and well put together.  I drove Mary to her place and Mr. Darcy invited me in. He made it abundantly clear that he wasn't happy about Mary sharing intimate details of her work. Now it was his turn to ask the questions. He put a stop to anymore of my questions about business, but was friendly enough to offer me a glass of wine.  Then I started thinking that he too was scoping me out as a potential client.

We sat by their pool enjoying small talk and more Merlot.  Then it was Darcy who started sharing his secrets.

“Nick, what do you think of the wretched downfall of a brilliant society through greed, corruption, and lust?” Darcy asked.

I wasn’t taking notes but I remember that quote verbatim because it was so unusual.  The red wine had taken over Darcy's political verbiage.  Darcy was in fact Broadway Mary’s brother as well as her pimp.  They were raised in a strict Catholic home in New York City and had it all.  The only thing they were missing was a society that shared their stout values.  Darcy raised a bitter fist against the American political system, the glorification of Hollywood and athletes, and proliferation of sex in the media.  My mind was being blown.  Mary sat back quietly drinking, telling me she’d been plotting this game for quite some time.

An hour later Mr. Darcy was intoxicated and belligerent and asked to be excused. It seemed Darcy was out to get the world.  In his youth he’d planned on becoming a Catholic priest, wanting to cure the world of it’s ills but he wasn't accepted.  He struck out to take down the immoral society and the church that rejected him. He began to literally pimp out his sister who’d been in and out of her own legal troubles and had nowhere to turn.  That’s why the pair targeted high profile athletes and “family-valued politicians."  Darcy aimed to show how corrupt the leaders of this world were.  I didn't bother arguing with his logic.

Mary walked me to my ride and apologized for the awkward conversation.  There was a sense of release in her eyes when she looked at me.  I think she too felt trapped in a race with no end. She gave me a goodbye kiss and thanked me for the ride.  She also made me promise to share the story.  I never did get those directions I stopped to ask her for and spent the next hour finding my way home.  I guess it goes to show you we're all a little lost.

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in the Sex and Love section of Creative Loafing.