Monday, July 6, 2009
Fuck buddies or boyfriends?
Posted by Ginger Ale on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 4:46 PM
I don't look at every sexual encounter as having to happen with someone I'm in love with or even dating. I'm a woman and I love to have sex with men I'm attracted to. Some call it meaningless sex. Some call it evolved sex. I just call it sex.
There's nothing wrong with just sex either, if that's what you want. I'd like to think as a society that we've evolved past the "whore" label attached to women who enjoy sex. Which I do, a lot.
Recently, I've been conducting fuck buddy interviews and the applicants are, for the most part, unqualified. If these applicants work like they fuck, it's no wonder we have such a high unemployment rate and shitty economy. They've left me wanting much more, so I've moved on from a fuck buddy search to a boyfriend hunt.
There's a difference between my fuck buddies and boyfriends. My fuck buddies, are exactly that. I don't want anything other than the physical attraction between us. I don't want to cultivate a friendship with fuck buddies. That's not in the job description. I have friends for all that.
What I don't have is a sexy piece of ass to come over and fuck me on a regular basis, then leave. Hot sex is the only thing I want to depend on a fuck buddy for. Anything more is relationship territory and that brings relationship problems. I don't want the problems of a relationship getting in the way of my sex life. The less we have between us, the more our thoughts can focus on sex, not problems.
My boyfriends, are so much more than fuck buddies. I want to spend time with them outside of the bedroom. I want to actually get to know more about them than what their favorite color is (which I something ask my fuck buddies, so I know what color lingerie to wear). I want to do things and go places with my boyfriends. They inspire me and push me to be better. I have respect for boyfriends and expectations that include more than just making me cum. I want someone with whom I can be myself, giggle, joke, have fun, actually relax and find comfort. Boyfriends create a completely different atmosphere of emotions and sexual behaviors than fuck buddies do.
I've been thinking about it and I've decided that I just don't have the time or the desire to have a boyfriend right now. All the men I've been out on dates with are ready to settle down and get married after the second date. I'm not ready for that. I'm having too much fun conducting fuck buddy interviews to settle down with only one man.
But, I do know that if I come across the right man while dating, or conducting interviews, I'll do whatever I can to keep him.
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Engaging a strict fuck buddy is a lesson in the result of selfishness. it somewhat rare that 2 people will have that much chemistry out the gate. face it, in a fuck buddy (fb) gig, both people are selfish as they call when it is convenient to them to get their rocks off..like fast food: I want it now, and I want it to satisfy me... I often find that in order to have great casual relationships (fb) I would need to open up some and have some more interaction..this made sex better. But opened the door to relationship...which at least one wont want. Thus, its a tricky thing this fb. It is destined to end/fail since it is selfish in nature, yet in order to build on it you have to open up a bit..which then just does not make it purely a fb relationship. However in this day and age, men and women can be open and enjoy a great friendship and great sex and still mutually draw the line and know they dont want a relationship with each other. It has worked before for me, but not everyone can do it
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