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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I love myself, I love you: how I keep the spark in my relationship
Posted by Lizzie Burke on Wed, May 27, 2009 at 10:57 AM
There is absolutely no way I would rather wake up in the morning than with a strong cup of coffee and my beautiful boyfriend. For the past year this has become our little AM ritual when we spend the night together: coffee, cigarettes, and conversation that feeds the soul. This morning was no different. We sat on his front porch listening to the rain and breathing in our daily dose of carcinogenics when it stuck me; how is it that I am still so excited to wake up with him after a whole year?
I reflected back and wondered...what were we doing at this time last year? I laughed as I realized that a year ago my boyfriend would never have been caught dead snuggling with a girl after spending the night together, and certainly would not have been calling anyone his “little emo princess.” I thought of how much he’d grown, allowing himself to be vulnerable with another person and to be accountable to a relationship. And I had grown too. I’m more secure in my own skin today, I’ve worked out most of my “daddy issues,” and I have a lot more self-confidence.
Maybe, I thought, when we grow independent of the relationship it’s like we’re able to get to know each other all over again. We find new ways of expressing ourselves, discover new interests, and ultimately, become more attractive. We have more enthusiasm for life when we are experiencing new things and seeing things in new ways. When I cross-reference this theory with my past relationships it holds true. Most of my relationships that fizzled out were due to stagnation. Either I was growing and maturing and my partner was a sitting duck, or my partner was moving and shaking and I was stuck in a rut. What an amazing concept!
The thought alone gave me an overwhelming feeling of bliss and contentment. It made me think of my favorite poet, Rumi, and one of his poems that I never understood until now.
I love you, I love myself.
I love myself, I love you.
Wow. I guess this is love.
Comments (8)
Showing 1-8 of 8
Wow! what a great article! I feel inspired to keep a spark in my 6yr relationship! Thank you! P.S. It looks like true love in your photo!
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You brought tears my eyes b/c I know you've gone through a lot with guys and Im so glad you are happy!!! But what is best of all is that you found yourself, and you are loving your beautiful self. I love you both, and keep it sparkin lol!
Have to love yourself first! That's got to be key. Feel good about you, feel good about the person in your own skin and that makes it attractive to others. Here's a great book on that, and other similar topics, Why I Love Men by JJ Smith. I thik it will change your approach not just to dating, but to life in general. It's got everything from the truths about men you really need to know, to various dating secrets, to the truth about sex. (And lots more!)
The article gives me hope that I just might find that true love one day...since it seems you have!I really enjoy your articles...they are a touch of reality!
Erin, Truly what I hope to find one day!! I am now in the stage of being single and boyfriend free for the past 1 1/2 yrs and it has been a wonderful ride in finding out what I am truly about and my likes and dislikes in what I want in my next relationship. I will be able to keep in mind all that you stated and use for the betterment of my next GOOD and KIND man. You are truly gifted in writing and you will hopefully use your abilities to pursue the writing field further. Thanks!!
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