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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
The "Doctor" is in: Doctor Why makes his introduction
Posted by Web Editor on Wed, May 20, 2009 at 11:50 AM
Hello internetians! I've come from far, far away in time and space, oh wait.... that's the other Doctor. Well actually I'm just from
I've come to offer my advice--advice on relationships, friendships, and love.
Why should you ask me, you may be asking yourself? Well... why not?!! I'm a doctor!* (No, not really). In truth I have had a crazy life with many different experiences, circles of friends, love triangles, anti-friend-group-getting-together problems, or afggtps, (Yes, I just made that up) and over the years people have come to value my opinions (these people may have been HEAVILY medicated).
You see the secret to having your questions answered is "3rd personification" (so what if I made that up also. I'm a doctor. We can do these sorts of things). Basically, the best way to give advice is to be removed from the situation. Since I don't know you, and promise to refrain from cyber-stalking to figure out who you are, this will be easy! I approach situations from a logical and humorous point of view (think Spock with a whoopie cushion). Now think of a giraffe with a trampoline. Now a monkey inside a refrigerator on wheels. Wow. You'll do anything won't you? (taking notes)
SO why ask me? AGAIN.. I AM A DOCTOR*(lies). I like to help people. I've been told my suggestions are logical and not forceful (these people may have been paid to say this). Because most questions have several possible answers, I like to suggest rather then order. That is unless you say, "Dear Doctor Why, should I start smoking crack?". My answer is positively going to be, yes you should (no it wont').
Feel free to write me with your questions at helpmedoctorwhy@gmail.com, or just leave a comment below! (See how convenient and tasty the internet is?) if selected out of the two to three trillion daily responses I'm bound to receive; you could be featured here with your full name, home address, picture, shoe size, sexual preferences, and favorite appliance** -- along with my brilliant analysis which we all know will undoubtedly change your life FOREVER!
So as they say; whoever they actually are, the "Doctor" is indeed IN and awaiting his next patient!
* I am not a doctor.
** Your posts will be anonymous, don't listen to anything that looney up there has to say.
Comments (4)
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Dr Why... since I am still picturing a monkey inside a refrigerator on wheels, I forgot what my problem was. maybe I didn't have a problem. is your advice stemming from actual experience or just living vicariously through others? inquiring minds want to know.
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Dear Eternally skating female, The use of imagery is meant to cause an emotional response. Hopefully laughter or some other positive feeling. This will help to clear your mind of any ill will towards yours truly for any advice I may offer. This keeps both of us alive. :D In all seriousness. The advice comes from a mixture of both. I have had, as I said, many different 'life experiences'. I have many friends both single, married, and in relationships. I've been in many, almost was married myself, and have seen all manner of trust issues, friendship problems, unfaithfulness...etc. Eventually you either go COMPLETELY INSANE, or you learn to deal with it. I must have figured out what I was doing (when it comes to other people it is easier of course) - and people began asking me for help. That was over 5yrs ago. I believe I've honed my skills and just have a natural acumen for reading, interpreting, and just hopefully in general; helping people. I hope my answer is sufficient to your needs, and you may continue to pull ollees (did I say that right?) and fakey 180 oldschool kick style mamma jammas. *wink* Thank you for your question!!
Dr. Why, welcome to the fine oasis of CL Sex and Love. I too am curious about said monkey. Was in the fridge on a Monday or a Thursday? RNR
Dear Nick; who may or may not be foaming right now, Thank you for the warm welcome and I will thank you to leave the whereabouts of the monkey to the authorities. It has been classified a "need to know" matter. They won't even tell me! -DW
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