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• The folks at Pegasus Publishing know the deal

It's late when The Puppy, my live-in boyfriend, gets home. I haven’t seen him since I kissed him good-bye at 8:30 this morning. He takes off his shoes and gives me a kiss. If I’ve eaten already, I tell him where dinner is and ask him to put away the leftovers. After dinner, he hops onto Everquest 2 (aka Evercrack). I start shutting things down around 11 at the latest. I ask him what his weekend schedule is looking like as I pull my shirt over my head.

“Hold on, my girlfriend is talking to me,” he says to his friends online. Now that I have his attention he asks me to repeat the question. He does not look up as he answers. His attention is fixed on making sure his character is casting spells. I continue undressing. Naked, I bend over to pick up my discarded clothing. As I stand, I hear cursing from behind me:

“No! Noooo! Fuck! Fucking A!” I turn to find The Puppy glaring at the monitor. “My character was nearly killed. Thanks, Camile.”

One of The Puppy’s strong points is that he is able to multi-task. It’s not uncommon to see him switching between the “other woman” and a paper for class. The position of his chair gives him a clear view of the closet. He knows me too well to think it was coincidental. I give him a kiss. Since I’m standing and he’s sitting, my bare breasts brush against his face. As I climb into bed, he mutters under his breath about evil women. He'll still snuggle against me when he climbs into bed later.

Once again I have won against this “other woman.”

Some of you have probably heard the term “Gamer Widow” or “WoW Widow.” For those who haven't, these terms refer to people (women or men) whose significant other has gotten so wrapped up in gaming (computer or console) that they ignore just about everything else. In some cases, I can empathize because I’ve been that girlfriend. Since I first began dating, the bulk of my boyfriends have been fellow gamer and anime fans. The same goes for just about every guy I’ve slept with, too. They have run the spectrum from guys who liked gaming, but had other hobbies, to guys who could not function socially unless it involved gaming or anime. Relationships of the latter category tend to crash and burn unless all parties involved share the same level of addiction to the same genre. One guy that springs to mind could tell you how to create an awesome deck for Pokemon, Magic: The Gathering, or Yu-gi-oh. Ask him about the news, school, or getting a job and he became mute. He thought decent sex and our shared affinity for anime and video games meant that I would be willing to overlook the fact that he talked about nothing but his Dungeons and Dragons campaigns. Forget the fact that I don’t like D&D. Forget that he complained that I wanted sex too often. Above all, forget that he was content to remain live on his friend’s couch and only got a job because I bullied him into it. He thought our love was so strong that these things wouldn’t matter. Sure I’ll overlook those things – for a friend.

The Puppy, thankfully, is not that kind of gamer. He plays Evercrack as a hobby and also a way to keep in touch with friends. All the same, he’s on there often enough that our friends know “the other woman” is a video game. I think he’s cheating on Evercrack with No More Heroes. Don’t quote me on that, though.

When The Puppy announced that he was going to try WoW – the herald of death to more than one relationship in our circle – I made him a deal. The day he picked the game over me would be the day I had a major problem with it. Until then, I would not bitch about his gaming unless I had given him prior notice that I wanted to spend time together. We had to be very clear on the last part because we had different definitions of “spending time together.” The Puppy used to consider anytime we were both in the same room spending time together. Ignore the part where he’s on Evercrack and I’m reading e-books from Ellora's Cave on my laptop. I define spending time together as something we do together as a couple: sex, playing a game together, going out, watching a movie, cuddling, etc.. Once we were on the same page in that regard, we had to define what the hell “picking the game over me” meant. Enter the opening scenario. I don’t always resort to stripping in front of him. For one thing, I hate clothing so I’m almost always semi-nude at home. Sometimes I just run my fingers through his hair or give him a mini shoulder rub topped with a kiss on the cheek. Most of the time, I just walk by and lean over so that he can grope my breasts or rear. Unless he’s really involved in killing something, he will oblige. Sometimes he obliges with his mouth. Even a grunt will do. So long as he acknowledges my presence, he's picked me over the game.

One of the best methods of picking me over the game is when I suggest something to do together. For all of my slutty habits, I like mushy things like eating together or cuddling on the couch. Sometimes I just snuggle up against him when he's gaming in the living room. He games. I read. Usually, though, I suggest  another game that we both like. The most likely candidates are Puzzle Fighter, Puyo Pop Fever, DDR, or Rock Band (1 or 2). Nine times out of ten, I’ll pick Rock Band because I suck at the first two and don’t feel like moving the furniture around to play the third. The best “I win” scenario, though, is when I walk into the room, make eye contact and calmly say “you should fuck me. Now would be preferable, but I can wait if you’re in a raid.” If all else fails, I remind him of one simple fact of life:

Evercrack won’t make him a sandwich without being asked.