Craigslist personals ads are clearly the future of mating. Admit it, some of those cell phone shots of dudes
Yesterday I was feeling rather feminine, and decided to pose as a forty-seven year-old woman with a somewhat normal fetish, at least for Craigslist standards. Below is the actual ad, followed by the best of the over one hundred and twenty-five responses it received.
Fill my vagina - w4mm - 47
My vagina feels empty. I want it to be filled. I don't want to have sex, but I want it to be filled. You can put anything in my vagina. The choice is yours. I will lay on my bed and spread my legs. I'll leave the door open. You casually creep in and insert your offering into my vagina. I'll be doing this all day Sunday. Just come in and stuff my vagina with whatever you have. I want my vagina to be filled to the brim with glorious things (but not penises sorry). You can jack off too me if you want or bring a partner. I will be getting stuffed all day. Please avoid using sharp or very harmful metal objects. Other than that, you can put whatever you want in me. Stuff me!
From: Mr. Business
I can stuff you at around 4PM Sunday. Just let me know where. ###-###-####. Mr. Business
This man means business. He already penciled me in at 4PM, probably right between his meeting with his marketing director and dinner with the in-laws. He included one glamour shot and one photograph of himself leaning proudly over a... stuffed vagina.
From: More Beer Please
Filling your vagina - sounds like a lot of fun. You have my imagination running. Please tell me where to come and fill your emptiness.
I always appreciate the philosophical romantic.
so do we take pictures and submit them to Ripley's when you consider yourself full?? Have you done any practicing for this sport?? Tell me more....Dudewhoswaytoexcited
This gentleman understands my true ambition, and decided to respond in the biggest and brightest purple font. Sexy.
From: Mr. PascoCounty
I hope this is finding you well... you sound very nice...My name is Mr. PascoCounty, I'm 47 years old/ no kids/non smoker non drinker and no drugs...I reside in Holiday, Fl. I'm 5''7 155 lbs short black hair /hazel eyes. mustache and at times a goatee.
I like a variance of things: Riding my Harley/beaches at all hours/sports viewing live and in person, flea markets and that kind of thing. normal stuff for the most part...I have a great sense of humor
I believe you are friends 1st with communication...things take time to develop....If any of this interest your please feel to e-mail me back, thanks for your time, I have included 1 picture for now, more upon request...
take care for now
This found me well indeed. What a gentleman! He says I sound very nice!! Boy am I glad that he enjoys doing normal stuff like going to flea markets and riding his motorcycle! I have standards when having my vagina filled with random objects from a complete stranger. He's right, communication is key.
From: Mr. Introspective
Are you for real.. Please tell me ... I have had a fantasy if fisting ...
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it" -- George Bernard Shaw
Sent from my iPhone
Oh, what romance, sending fisting related quotes from George Bernard Shaw via his iPhone!
and where will this OPEN HOUSE be located. i am interested in stopping by with my offerings
Ah, an OPEN HOUSE! Is that what you call these sorts of things? This guy has obviously done this sort of thing before.
I've always wanted to fist someone but I've got big hands and "Popeye" forearms so everyone's been too scared to let me try. Only problem is I'm catching a flight in two hours and will be away on business for the next two weeks.
Can I get a raincheck?
What would Olive Oil say?!
From: Bill Cosby
Pudding Pop wants to know more about this stuffing ?
I have no idea what the hell this is about, but I was excited that the noted gynecologist, Dr. Huxtable, was interested in inspecting my vagina.
From: Bill Cosby
Please tell Pudding Pop more about what your looking for.
Dr. Huxtable is serious, but I have some standards. I only respond to suitors who know the difference "your" and "you're."
Can I bring my Setter
Sure you can bring your Setter! Bring your Bloodhound too! We'll all have a picnic afterward and throw around the Frisbee! Oh, hold up - this is a completely different fetish you're into, isn't it?
I would like stuff it with some smoke oysters and go deep sea diving for them in your pussy
Sent from my iPhone
All I can say is that they better be alive.
From: The Firm
I will be in the Executive lounge at the Double Tree on next Thursday night. Would love to invite you both over for a filling night. The other business men and i would love to fill you full of bills. E-mail if interested.
Now this post actually made me sad because for a few brief seconds I thought that writing for CL would actually pay off. Then, I remembered that I don't really have a vagina. Sometimes life is just not fair I guess.