Getting into the position: The woman grips the penis with her yoni as a vice; squeezing him and
stroking and milking the nectar from him.On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate position (1 as horrible, 10 as sexual nirvana)? 8
Did you have difficulty getting into the position? N/A
Did you feel like a pretzel? Were you able to do the motions once in position? No.
Any recommendations on getting either in or out of this position? Nope
How long did you last in the position? 10 minutes.
Enjoyment once you were in position (for the woman): Yes
Enjoyment once you were in position (for the man): This was wonderful!
No matter how much I may disagree with the results, there's no arguing with popularity. At least, that is, in a popularity contest like the Readers' Poll. Casa Tina easily surpasses La Cabana Del Tio and moves on to the Final Four
Voting for the final match of the Edible Eight began today -- El Taconazo vs. Mekenita Mexican Grill -- and continues through tomorrow, so be sure to support your favorite spot! For all results check out the Tournament of Tacos Readers' Poll info page.
Updated bracket with all the matchups after the break:
El Taconazo may be the most well-known taco joint in the Bay area, but it can't rest on its laurels in this fight against Mekenita. In previous rounds, the Taco Bus hasn't mustered nearly as much fan support as the Lutz-based Mekenita. Which restaurant will get out the vote?
Which taco deserves to move on to the Final Four?
Vote after the break --
Money seems to get tighter and tighter these days, so why spend 15 bucks on delivery pizza? One of my favorite pre-made products in the grocery store is Pillsbury's refrigerated pizza dough. For around $2.50, you can pick up a tube of it and get creative by adding your favorite toppings. You can even find one-serving size cans of pizza sauce in the pasta aisle, so it saves you from having to buy a huge jar of sauce. Why not skip the marinara sauce altogether and do a white pizza or use up that barbecue sauce in your fridge place of it? The Mexican pizza I made (recipe below) cost about $9 to make (not including things I already had on hand, i.e.: olive oil, herbs, etc.) and could serve four people, so this is definitely a recession-friendly meal.
Quality of life for insatiable hopheads living in Florida has improved substantially within the last few months. A colossal beer from San Diego's Stone Brewing has entered the local market, leaving a mass of traumatized taste buds in its wake. Stone's website describes Ruination IPA as "a liquid poem to the glory of the hop, so called because of the ruinous effect on your palate." And let me assure you, this is not a clever marketing statement; it's the honest truth.
Hops are female flowers from the plant Humulus lupulus, which are used in brewing to add aroma and bitterness. Alpha acids in resin secreted by the hops are mostly responsible for the bitter taste and subsequent IBU (International Bitterness Units) rating. On average, most brews rate between 15 and 45 IBUs. Stone Ruination has over 100 IBUs. To achieve this catastrophic bitterness, Ruination IPA is brewed with high alpha acid Columbus and Centennial hops and then finished with a hearty Centennial dry hopping to enhance the brew's Humulus lupulus smells and add another layer of aggression to the brew's overall flavor.
Now, let's talk IPA (India Pale Ale): Back in the day when Britain was flexing authority over other parts of the globe, hops were used as a natural preservative, ensuring ales brewed at home would reach the final destination in colonial India without becoming spoiled. This act of beer preservation gave rise to the India Pale Ale style, which was later adopted by American breweries -- like Stone -- and produced in mutant batches of bitter delight. These extra strength IPAs are labeled Double IPA or Imperial IPA. With its massive dose of hops, Stone Ruination definitely receives the big, bad Double/Imperial rating.
First of all, let's get the big question out of the way first: Is Resident Evil 5 racist? I think it's not. I think it's just racially insensitive and culturally clumsy. More on that in a bit. The second big question: Is Resident Evil 5 a good game? Yes it is, depending on how you play it, except for the parts that suck.
Capcom had a daunting challenge to follow up the almost universally loved and acclaimed Resident Evil 4, a fun, cool, strange, challenging game that re-wrote a lot of the rules of the standard-setting survival horror series and was almost single-handedly a reason to buy a Gamecube. Resident Evil 5 tries to build on that success, and it definitely feels like a successor to the other game. It controls much the same way, has some enemies that carry over from the last game, and has just as nonsensical a plot. It's also shorter, more streamlined, and maybe more racist (again, more on that in a bit). It's probably not as good as RE4 on any level, except I had a better time playing it than the previous game.
Resident Evil 5 is only more fun because of one of the two main improvements over RE4: online co-op play. Playing co-op, either with someone else in the room with you (in which case you better have a big TV or sit real close), or online is really the only way to play this game. As a solo game you're teamed up with Sheva, and her AI is just not up to snuff. You'll spend more time worrying about her and yelling at the screen for her to switch weapons than you will fighting zombies. But put another player on the other controller, and the game really comes alive. I played through the whole game with my brother, and it was a helluva good time for the most part. In a game with a story this wooden and no real scares, most of the drama came from listening to each other cry out for help or more ammo or health. Talking strategy, executing said strategies, and covering each other in a fight is where Resident Evil 5 really shines.
The other vast improvement is the look: RE5 just looks amazing. The African setting, especially in the early levels, is rendered in bright sunshine with vivid colors and details that pop off the screen. The nasty infected monster types are frighteningly vicious and the slums you're fighting through have a perfect mix of claustrophobia and ghost-town vibes. The game continues to look great throughout, but later levels, like a large ship, are bland and uninteresting compared to the more exotic opening sequences. This is as good as games seem capable of looking right now, and that alone is worth some of the retail price.
I like to think of Resident Evil 5 as a kind of action-puzzle game. Compared to most action games these days, like Gears of War and its innumerable clones, RE5 is slow, almost plodding. You can't move and shoot at the same time. Turning around sometimes feels like make a three point turn with a school bus, and most of the time the enemy's approach in a deliberate, almost stately manner. I am totally fine with all these things. As odd as this style of game play is compared to most actioners, it works very well in RE5 once you get used to it. At that point, each set-piece within the game becomes like a big, 3D action puzzle. You have to come up with a combination of moves, shots, ammo usage, environmental assisted kills (thanks conveniently placed gas cans!), and other factors (recharging that awesome flamethrower). When you're planning these out with a co-op buddy especially, it's a lot of fun. Even dying isn't always too frustrating as long as you see where you made a mistake and can learn from it. The core of RE5 is a series of these action puzzles, and during these many sequences the game excels. It's a ton of fun and you want more and more of it.
And then there are the crappy, super frustrating bits. Like quick-time events that come during cut scenes without warning and you have to hit the button or die. In co-op, that means both of you need to hit it or you die. Like in-game quick-time events where you have to repeatedly hit a button faster than is humanly possible, or at least so it seemed. Or the entire stupid, frustrating, annoying, dumb, did I say frustrating?, final, multi-tiered boss fight. I came out of that final section just plain mad at the game. It took me a little while to calm down, go back and re-play some of the earlier levels, and remember how much fun I had for most of the game. RE5 is a good, solid, beautiful looking, polished game. And it's only a little bit racist.
Okay, the racism thing. The game takes place in Africa and involves a lot of dark skinned people getting shot by the very white main character. But that's not racist because the people you're shooting are now infected zombie-types and your partner, Sheva is black as well. That's all fine, I buy that. But there's imagery in the game that raises some uncomfortable associations while at the same time not taking those associations very seriously. Like the level where you blast through a village of grass-skirt wearing, huge wooden masked, spear throwing natives. It's not so much racist, I think, at least not intentionally, as it is goofy and ill-conceived. And that's a lot of this game's problem, story and setting wise. It's all kind of goofy and ill-conceived, with a twisting plot that doesn't make much sense and which you never really care about. But that level with the savage villagers is also a whole lot of fun to play, and mostly you're just thinking about how to beat it, not what it means. All I really want is for the developers to maybe think issues of race and imagery through a little more the next time around. As it stands, the cultural tone-deafness doesn't detract from the game any more than the dozen other tone-deaf moments of dialog or setting.
In the end, Resident Evil 5 is a very solid game, and throughout the first 5/6ths of it, I always wanted to keep playing, keep exploring. Even after you beat it, there's a lot of re-playability as you can go back to earlier levels with your now better-equipped characters. Plus there's mercenaries mode, costume changes, and plenty of easter eggs to find. If you can get past the ultra-annoying finale, the goofy story, and the occasional hiccups (and you probably can), RE5 is well worth picking up.
Rick Dakan is a writer and critic and the author of the Geek Mafia series of novels.
Okay, so everyone has been quick to point out how imperfect my bracket is. Like I always say, "always forward, never back". Despite that spirit, let's take a look back at some of the points that have stuck through the regional finals.
Before I do a little Region by Region break down, let me point out one thing that might not be obvious, but had a huge impact in this tournament. Ill call it Why Villanova is in the Final Four and Missouri Is Not (really rolls off the tongue, doesnt it?).
Mizzou and Connecticut was an extremely intriguing matchup because of the differences in styles of play. UConn is big, Mizzou is quick. Mizzou pushes the ball and gets to the rack, and plays smothering, help oriented defense. Uconn matches up and tries to funnel to its big boys down low. Going into this game two things were a given. The first, the Tigers were going to force turnovers. The second, UConn would win the battle of the boards. The key to this game was clearly could Mizzous pressure and guard play stifle UConn and allow the Tigers to run past the Huskies, or would UConns size, strength, and glass play rule the day? Basically this game was going to be about stat pairings. That is, if you took one in the abstract (for instance rebounds) it would tell you a skewed story. So, Mizzou would have to take and make more shots from the field (particularly from three) to offset UConns ability to get to the line more often.
Sure enough, UConn dominated the window by out rebounding Missouri 19. Sure enough, Missouri won the turnover battle at +11 (forcing 17, and giving up the rock only 6 times). So right now, things seem pretty even, right? They were, of course. The final margin of victory for the University of Connecticut was only 7. So what happened? Well, we will come back to that.
The Villanova vs. Pittsburgh matchup was similar in that it featured one team that had superior guard play, and one team that had a superior interior presence. It was similar in that one team was a three seed and the other was a one seed and one time #1 team in the country. Unlike the other game, this one featured a very close rebounding/turnover battle. In fact, The Cats and Panthers featured a stat line that was almost identical, which was somewhat surprising (more on that below).
So now to the moment of truth: What happened? Why in two fairly even games, did one team win and one team lose? The answer is free throws.
One set of cats (the Tigers) shot only 12, the other set (the Wild ones) got to the stripe 23 times. That, in and of itself, is not surprising or a big deal. What IS a big deal is what they did with the opportunity. The Cats of Nova knocked down 22-23 (a 95.7% clip) to escape with a victory. The Tigers, though, wasted their chance to reach a Final Four for the first time in school history by making only 6 of their attempts (or, 50%). The Tigers lost by 7, so it would seem the free throws alone could not make up the difference. That would be true EXCEPT for the fact that UConn got the opportunity late to stretch the lead because they had it and Missouri had to foul. If the Tigers had taken care of business at the line, they might be dancing.
(As an aside, the Tiger mascot might be cursed, as Memphis was abysmal from the line in the National Finals last year costing them a ship . The NCAA should investigate THAT)
Midwest
It was strange to think of the University of Arizona as a Cinderella, but that's sort of what they were. Like George Mason (an 11 seed) a few years ago, Arizona (a 12 seed) was looking to parlay early success into a Final Four. After the first weekend in 2006, though, all the talk was how George Mason stormed into the tourney and punched their tickets to the Sweet Sixteen. So why didnt we hear about how Arizona has shocked the world?
Well, the answer is twofold (and really quite simple). Arizona was in a strange position; simultaneously surprising everyone and no one. Despite the fact that there was a ton of talk (or, "run" as I like to call it) that Arizona should not be in the field of 65, it seemed like everyone thought they were a lock to beat Utah, which they did. The 'Cats followed that up by a win over 13-seed Cleveland State. If Arizona had faced Wake Forrest in the Round of 32, it might have been a little different.
But, even if they had played Wake, they're still UofA. The other side of this lack of chatter is that George Mason is George Mason from the Colonial Athletic Association. Arizona is Arizona, a major power from a BCS Conference. Once you have done the things that Arizona has, do you really deserve ink for beating Utah and Cleveland State after sneaking into the Dance? GM had to be a giant killer, too. They faced Michigan State and North Carolina in the first two rounds. Michigan State had been in the Final Four a year earlier. As mentioned above, Arizona went through Utah and Cleveland State. Not to disparage those schools and they seasons they had, they are just not the names that State and UNC are (and were).
Midwest was probably the most exciting and entertaining region. Ohio State and Sienna provided a tourney classic with a double-OT thriller. Seriously, all the run has been about how North Carolina and Duke get passes by being able to play in Greensborough, but this was a de facto home game for the Buckeyes. Sienna hung and pulled out a victory against OSU, then pushed Louisville into the last minute of play. This Region gave us the most "tournament" games. Cleveland State over Wake was not a victory, it was pure domination. "The Cleve", as I like to call them, DOMINATED a Wake team that has, probably, three first round NBA draft selections. Add to that the Ohio State/Sienna game and the Michigan State/Kansas showdown, this bracket certainly had drama early and often, unlike the others.
Michigan State, as they've done all year, found a ways to win. Throughout the season, the Spartans have looked to a different player every game to get it done. That held true in the tournament. Louisville flirted with disaster early in the first round before showing up and coasting late to what turned into an easy W. They then dominated University of Arizona in the Round of 16, entering the Elite 8 Matchup with the aforementioned Spartans of Michigan State.
Louisville started the season as a popular pick for the Final Four. The Cards struggled early in the season, during their non-conference schedule. By the time the conference season started, they decided to turn it on. They stormed through the rest of the season, winning a regular season conference title. In what was considered the consensus best conference, Louisville also won the post season conference championship.
The Spartans were also early picks for the Final Four, but inconsistent play throughout the season left a lot of question marks. State won the regular season conference title by four games, but an early exit in the conference tourney cost them a #1 Seed.
Coming into the game, the biggest question for the Spartans was how would they handle the press from Louisville. The Cards full court pressure had been great all season and throughout the tourney. MSU was loose with the ball all year.
If I had to point to one thing, State won this game because they had an even turnover margin (both teams giving it away 12 times). State was not bothered at all by the Louisville press, breaking it easily with crisp solid passing and getting set in the half court offense with plenty of time on the shot clock and under control.
There were more factors contributing to victory, but Michigan State won by playing Spartan Basketball. MSU prides itself on rebounding their opponents into submission. In fact, the Spartans finished the season average more than 10 rebounds a game more than their opponents. Even though the rebounding margin was fairly even throughout this game, State dominated the offensive glass in the last five minutes. At 13:32 to play in the game, the Spartans held a slim 1 point lead. Despite getting themselves into foul trouble early in the half,, the game was over at that point. They locked down on defense, eventually holding Louisville to 38.3% shooting, and grab every single board, it seemed.
West
As I said in my last post, Purdue is and was getting healthier at the right time. With a healthy Hummel, they're better than a 5 seed. So, seeing them in the Round of 16 was not exactly a surprise.
The talk of this Region is probably just the health of University of Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun. Coach missed the opening round game, but the team rolled. He was released from the hospital Friday and said he had been treated for "dehydration" and was a-okay. The Huskies rolled in the second round, too. Then, the Huskies rolled some more, over Purdue and into the Elite 8.
Memphis almost imploded in the first round, but dominated Maryland in the second to set up a showdown of Tigers.
Mizzou almost chocked away a SIXTEEN POINT SECOND HALF lead in the Round of 32 against Marquette, only to pull it out (saving my bracket further damage at the time). Then, against Memphis, Mizzou almost chocked away a TWNETY-TWO POINT SECOND HALF LEAD, only to pull it out (saving my bracket further damage at the time).
Unfortunately for all of us, and as discussed above, the Tigers fell to UConn destroying my bracket once and for all
East
In the Dance, the goal is to "survive and advance". This was exactly what Pitt did through three rounds. The last few years scoring points in the NCCA's has been the problem for the Panthers, but they got enough to get into the Elite 8.
In what ended up a chalk bracket, Pitt gave everyone outside of Western Pennsylvania hope that they would indeed be the first #1 seed to ever lose to a 16. They followed that up with a barn burner against Oklahoma State. An 8 point final margin of victory in that game does not tell the full story. Let's take a closer look shall we?
Despite Pitt having a +18 rebounding margin overall, and a +13 offensive rebounding margin, Oklahoma State was in the game the whole time and it was locked at 74 with 2:41 to go.
When I look at the stats, I can't figure out how OSU lost this game. They were -5 from the free throw stripe, but they were +3 from beyond the arc. They also had a +4 turnover margin. The only statistic that really stands out as a negative is the rebounding margin. Watching the game, it seemed like OSU just could not keep Pitt, especially Dejuan Blair (who had 12 boards), off the window. Every time Pitt needed to grab a rebound, they did. That's the difference.... survive and advance.
I also heard a lot that Texas would definitely dominate Duke in the Round of 32. While Texas gave Duke a good game, the Blue Devils took care of business.
In the Regional Semis, Duke was dominated by a quicker, more physical Villanova squadron. Its a common misconception that physicality takes place solely on the block. It was actually Novas guards that out physicaled the guards of Duke for the victory.
I promised you more on the Nova/Pitt game above and I always deliver. If you told me before the Regional Final that Nova would outrebound Pitt (+2), especially on the offensive glass (+1), have more blocks (+2), and more steals (+3), I would have said that I thought Nova ran away with the game. I would have said that I thought the Cats would have overcome a negative turnover margin (-2), especially since they were +3 points from beyond the proverbial arc. In fact, when I look at the numbers, it seems like Nova did what they needed to do and beat Pitt at their own game. I cannot figure out how this game was so close , but it was and it was really good. Nova moved on, Pitt was left wanting more for probably the billionth year in a row.
South
There was not really anything to say about this Region. In my humble opinion, a 7 over a 10 or an 8 over a 9 is not an upset (in tourney terms). Western Kentucky beat Illinois. Really, that's a story only becuase 12's were 3-1 this year. The Hilltoppers then pushed the Zags for one of the more thrilling finishes this year. Gonzaga ended up with the W and the top 4 seeds fill the Sweet 16.
The Regional Semis were two non-contests. Carolina rolled the Zags and Oklahoma took care of business against Cuse. Setting up an Elite 8 showdown with a lot of promise.
Alas, Carolina owned Oklahoma in a game that was never really close. Taking a look at the stat line (as you can tell Im a fan of) it really comes down to the fact that the Heels just shot a better percentage from the field than did the Sooners. No offense to Boomer, but that was always going to be the case. Oklahoma needed to dominate the interior game and have Blake outplay Tyler. Well, Blake did his part ripping down 16 rebounds and dropping 23 points. Tyler was under control (6 boards, 8 points).
I will be honest and say I was wrong about this game. If you had told me that Griffin had those numbers, I would have said Oklahoma was headed to Detroit. Problem is, the rest of the team wanted to head back to Norman. The Sooners had 10 offensive rebounds, Blake had 6 of those. The Sooners had 27 total boards, Blake had 16. The Sooners had 60 points, Blake had 23. After this game, he is the Player of the Year FOR SURE, but come on team!
Carolina, just as they were early in the season, were just too much even for a very good team.
Check back later this week for some thoughts on this weekends Final Four match-ups.
Every week Apple comes out with new applications that iPhone users hold over the heads of the
technologically disadvantaged, like me, still trying to turn on our blackberries. The first wave of applications featured technology like the lighter, beer pour, or light saber. These features were cool, but they were little more than toys. However, Apple is increasingly coming out with applications that are actually useful. While I wouldn't necessarily use the new Grindr application, which is geared towards locating gay and bigay men in the area, I know I'm going to miss out on the next wave of futuristic jedi-phone tricks: the breathalyzer, lie detector, x-ray vision, orgasm ray, pick-up-line generator... basically all the things that can turn a technosavy metro sexual into a nerdy superhero.
While privacy is an issue for all location based social networks, it is of the utmost importance
MOSI presents Beetle Collection, a series of images featuring beetles from the Florida Department of Agricultures Entomology Museum by renowned photographer Steven Katzman (pictured, a millipede, through April 30). Also on display is BODY WORLDS: The Story of the Heart, Dr. Gunther von Hagens traveling exhibit on the human body and disease, with a special focus on the heart and how it nourishes, regulates and sustains life (through June 28). This week's IMAX Dome Theatre films selections are Extreme, Animalopolis, Under the Sea, Watchmen and Van Gogh: Brush with Genius. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. daily, Museum of Science & Industry (MOSI), Tampa, $25.95 adults (13-59)/$22.95 seniors (60-plus)/$19.95 ages 2-12 (includes IMAX film and entry to all exhibits), 813-987-6300. mosi.org.
Also tonight:
Comedian Joe Piscopo performs at Show Palace Dinner Theatre as part of the "Ruth Eckerd Hall on the Road" series. 8 p.m., Show Palace Dinner Theatre, Hudson, $49.
Award-winning Phoenix-based architect Will Bruder gives a talk as part of USF's "Building into [Place]: Spring 2009 Architecture Lecture Series." 7 p.m., ULH 101, USF Tampa, free admission.
Singer-songwriter Matt Wertz brings his warm, Top 40-friendly acoustic rock to town. 7 p.m., Orpheum, Ybor City, $13.
Cloris Leachman's new autobiography goes beyond the standard Hollywood struggles and anecdotes, disclosing insight into her celebrity sex-capades.
Below are a few excerpts from the April 7 release, Cloris, including this classic description of epic sex with Gene Hackman.
"As we moved into the main course, it was as if a cosmic wind enveloped us. Some giant space magnet was pulling us together... We didn't finish the meal. We went upstairs, flew into bed and made love. It was epic. And the next morning, Gene went back to his film and I went back to mine. I haven't seen Gene since that night, but I remember well the feisty lad he was."
In another passage Cloris describes a near sex encounter with "Mary Tyler Moore" costar Ed Asner:
"One day we made an agreement that I would have sex with him if he lost 32 pounds... He almost did it; he lost 29 pounds. We both got so disoriented at what we were facing that his weight shot back up, and our assignation never happened."
Check out the full description of Cloris at amazon.com.