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Sunday, March 1, 2009
How young is too young?
Posted by Ginger Ale on Sun, Mar 1, 2009 at 8:32 PM
How young is too young? What defines age? The actual number in years? Maybe it’s the experiences in your life that define your age? Can age be described in accomplishments or possessions? I’ve recently opened myself up to someone who’s made me ask these questions.
In my 20’s, too young was anyone who wasn’t 21 and up. I had lots of friends who were bartenders, so naturally I spent a lot of time getting free drinks and closing down bars. I can sum up those years of my life with 1 song title…Let’s get drunk and screw! Now that I’m no longer in my 20’s or have friends that are bartenders, I don’t spend much time in bars or drinking. What I do spend my time on, is finding my next Mr. Right Now or maybe even THE Mr. Right. Which leads me to have age questions because the person that’s presenting themselves to me now is under 21. I’ve broken this rule before and it ended horribly. The circumstances surrounding the age difference now are different so can the relationship be different?
The old under 21 was Harry. He knocked on my front door one day and I was hooked. He had green eyes that sparkled with youth and mischief. When he first smiled at me I couldn’t help but get hot and flustered. He was tall, dark and handsome with naturally defined muscle tone, I just wanted to pull him in my front door and devourer him. No denying he was HOT!! And because he was so HOT my sex drive took over and my good sense turned into “oh let’s just feel good” and not “is this such a good idea?” Naturally we started to date and the relationship turned into I’m older, he’s younger and now I feel like his mommy. Nothing kills the sex in a relationship faster than feeling like your partners parent, unless of course you’re into infantilism but that’s a whole other issue.
Feeling like his mom didn’t happen overnight, there were clues from the very beginning that I should have picked up on. He was in college so he didn’t work, he didn’t have a car or a license, he’d been dating someone in their 30’s and he’d never lived alone. But he was so HOT and the sex was so GOOD that at the time those things didn’t matter much to me. I was too busy wondering how he could be such a good lover at such a young age. It didn’t occur to me at the time that he was just a gigolo, getting by on his good looks and giant penis.
Like any Cougar, (that’s an older woman who dates a younger man) who dates a man with a body of an Adonis, I sacrificed things in my relationship that I would have expected from an older man; like stability, a place of their own, a steady job or a wardrobe that consisted of more than jeans and jordans.
Harry and I dated for a long time and he never managed to obtain what was necessary to take care of me as his woman. He always thought of my as his possession, never once thinking he could break me if he didn‘t take care of me. I did break, then we broke up and I was put off the whole idea of a younger man.
Then comes Dick. Dick is also under 21, but he’s completely different than Harry so I have to wonder if it would turn differently? Or would it just be the same because of his age? For such a young age, Dick has managed to accomplish a lot. He has his own home, his own car, a good job, and it wouldn’t matter where we went, he’d have the appropriate clothes to wear. He’s even planning on opening his own company in the next 6 months. Dick understands responsibility, he’s entered adulthood and has taken it by the reins and has made it his bitch. If we started to date I know it would turn into me having to take on the mommy role, he‘s too responsible for that.
Dick’s actually kind of sweet and cute but not the Adonis I was dating. Hotness makes for a great sex life but it can’t make up for experiences or accomplishments or possessions and isn‘t it those things we‘re looking for in our partners? Someone who can take care of us and provide us with a sense of stability and security? Can someone who’s so much younger than me provide these things? It did for Demi & Ashton, but neither of us are millionaire actors living the Hollywood life. We’re real people, with real issues, with real friends who are going to look at us crazy because of an age gap.
I’m sure this time he’s not using his giant penis to get women to take care of him. Actually I don’t know what size it is, not yet anyway. What I do know is that he has his life together and on track and he’s done it all without my help or support. That’s making him far sexier than Harry and it’s making me really want to take a chance on him no matter what his age is.
Comments (9)
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My Dear Ginger Ale, Regarding your first question about age, nobody defines it better than Mark Twain. He said, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” My name is Cyndi Targosz and I am the author of DATING THE YOUNGER MAN (Adams Media). I just left Tampa after making appearances at the Barnes & Noble Bookstores and Borders in your area. I applaud your wonderful use of self-evaluation. You are wise not to slam a whole generation of young men based on one bad experience. There are jerks of all ages as well as wonderful men of all ages. When you are DATING THE YOUNGER MAN you can expect many pros- he loves your confidence, finds you exciting and the intimacy is often off the charts. All relationships including this type can have a few pitfalls- dealing with his Mom, friends and other family reactions, his developmental level etc. With the right guidance and information, you both can deal with these constructively. Decide where you stand in terms of a relationship. Do you want Mr. Right, Mr. Right Now or some time alone? Evaluate your wants and needs. Sounds like you are on track with your new man Dick. Rather than being a negative predator on the prowl you are being what I have playfully coined, a hot BOY TOY BABE! (BTB). You are confident, fun, sexy and going through life on your own terms rather than on old stereotypes and double standards. You go girl! Enjoy the self discovery and trust so that this journey will only bring you closer to who you really are and help you get what you want and deserve. I invite you to visit my site at www.starglow.com Sign up for my free Cyndi’s Secrets tips. Good luck! Cyndi Targosz
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Ginger Ale: I like your writing but you seem to get irrational when talking about a young guy's penis. You say you're "sure this time he’s not using his giant penis to get women to take care of him." then you say that actually you don’t know what size it is, not yet anyway." So what would make you talk about it being a giant penis. Is it the first under 21-year old you had hot sex with? Or is it yet another example of hype to titillate your readers. since when do women love a giant penis. Most find them painful, and most prefer a medium or average size penis. In fact, most women value romance and sexual skill over a "giant size" penis. Unless it's a one-night stand, which is not what you're talking about. You're another contributor to the hype that bigger is better, in boobs, bling, and penises. That's why so many men have not just performance anxiety, but p.a. caused by size anxiety. Guys with average sized penises feel inadequate in the face of comments like yours. Their concerns lead to small penis syndrome, worries that are unjustified. This problem is discussed at smallpenisgreatlover.com, along with stressing skills. Let's have a reality check. Statistically there are a miniscule number of "giant penises" around. With this kind of pressure being pushed on guys by women who actually prefer average sized penises, is it any wonder that "He's just not that into you" is so widespread. It's a defence mechanism. Ernie Coyne info@smallpenisgreatlover.com
Ernie, I'm working on my next blog now to address your concerns over Penis Hype.
I think this is great! You have the read the whole blog and not just zero in the the "Penis" thing. This is a question almost every woman asks, How young is too young? Great Job Ginger Ale -keep on blogging :)
Ernie, I think she was alluding to the fact that she knows he's got other assets with which to woo and win women, not needing to rely on cock size, and not needing a sugar momma.
Mistress Sophie, you are correct. I see where the women have understood the reference was not about penis size. This leads me to believe that its the men who suffer from "penis hype" not us.
I am 34..and i LOVE older women. if anything they care less about physical traits (to an extent) and more on your genuineness. I find them easy to get along with, less drama, more accommodating and appreciative of simpler things in life. Sex has never been an issue. Great sex with an older woman can make u feel like Peter North=) even if you look like Nick Nolte=). I just thought i`d give the flip side. For women in their forties, a 30+ man is a younger man and we are a world apart from the 21 y/o Adonis types. We are settled with ourselves and our life
Ernie, I'm sorry to say that if given the choice (all other variables set equal- i.e. both Mr. Pencil Dick and Mr. Salami Pole have great personalities, smarts, ambition, compassion, etc), I would prefer a large penis between my legs over a small penis. I would guess that most women feel the same. Unless you're a virgin or someone with an unusually small vagina, larger is better. It's a little difficult for me to listen to you play your violin, because the fact is, men judge women based on their physical assets, too- and in my opinion, to a much larger degree. I by no means want to downplay the successes of the women's movement, BUT we are still seen widely as sex objects, homemakers, and birth canals. If guys have to suffer through some male-pattern baldness and penis envy, I can't say I feel too bad for them. C'mon Ernie! Man up! I'm sure your penis is just fine.
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