Until recently, I never fully understood the lengths men will go to simulate a pussy while masturbating. I figured most dudes were as uncreative when it came to masturbation as they were during sex: the standard oil and lotion mixture, or a swab of conditioner in the shower applied at rapid speed until the desired effect is achieved. That was until I met Condom-guy, Sock-guy, and Glad-bag-guy.
At a recent party Sock-guy tried to impress me with a story about how he was working construction on a beach house when the mood struck him. Naturally, he took off a sock and searched for a bucket. In all my time working as a phone sex operator I have never heard of a fetish involving a bucket and a sock.
After finding a bucket, he went to in an empty bedroom closet. He was making so much noise the foreman caught him mid-stroke with his cock in the sock.
Today we introduce Michael Troys new blog Sex in the Shadows. Michael has made a lifes work out of exploring the darker boundaries of the sexual experience. His adventures will take you places you may have not dared to go not yet, at least.
Im prowling MLK and Florida Avenue in Tampa because I know that with five dollars in my pocket I can get a blowjob here.
What the Tampa Chamber of Commerce doesnt tell you is that Tampa is the easiest city in the U.S. to get fucked in. Behind all the sanctimony, and the Marriage-is-between-a Man-and-a-Woman bullshit, among all the churchgoers, the SUV drivers and the Bucs fans, Tampa is populated by a hotbed of freaks.
The crack whores on MLK look like theyre pretty evolved on the chain of transmittable diseases, so even though Im not exactly a safety-first kind of guy, I make a turn onto Nebraska.
Zurritos has consistently motivated its loyal customers to get out the vote in the competition, with some of the highest tallies of any of the matches. Casa Tina has had it fairly easy so far. Can they ramp up their efforts to compete with the seemingly unstoppable Zack Gross fans?
Which taco deserves to move on to the Championship?
Vote after the break --
The final round of the Edible Eight was massive, with over 300 votes cast and the outcome close in the final tally. In the end, El Taconazo was unable to hold off the ardent supporters of Mekenita Mexican Grill
That means that the Tournament of Tacos Readers' Poll Final Four is set: Zurritos, Casa Tina, Mema's Mexican Grill and Mekenita Mexican Grill. Voting begins today in the first semi-final match -- Zurritos vs. Casa Tina -- and continues until tomorrow around 2 p.m..
For all results check out the Tournament of Tacos Readers' Poll info page.
Updated bracket with all the matchups after the break:
The roar returns. If you've never been within earshot of the Honda Grand Prix of St. Petersburg, it's difficult to imagine it. Suffice to say that it's spectacularly loud. I live about five miles north of the 1.8-mile, 14-turn racetrack in downtown and I can hear those zoom-zooms in my living room.
Of course, it's advantageous to get within eyeshot of the Grand Prix to fully appreciate the speed, dazzle and dexterity of the open-wheel Indy racecars.
For the first time, the St. Pete Grand Prix, held April 3-5, is the opening race on the 17-race IndyCar schedule. One of the marquee drivers in the race is Dan Wheldon, an Englishman who resides in the 'burg.
When asked about what drew him most to his adopted hometown, he said. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the weather, but the entire city is very picturesque. St. Pete has everything a big city does, but it has a small town feel to it. There is very little traffic to deal with, it's very easy to get around and people are very nice.
"And, ultimately, this is where my racing career in America started because it's where my first team was based, so that has always made it a special place for me. My family really loves it here."
I profiled David Miller of Savant Fine Dining for our $20 Menu Challenge last year and was utterly fascinated by his story: 27 years old (now 28), high school drop-out, culinary competition wiz, CIA grad, muscle car hobbyist, sugar expert and owner of two restaurants and a chocolate-making shop. Oh, wait, make that three restaurants.
Tomorrow, his Cities Restaurant (2551 Drew St., Clearwater, 727-421-9975) will open next door to his high-end, prix fixe Savant. The new restaurant (a la carte, not prix fixe) will feature a different city as its theme every month, with menus, artwork and everything else changing to match the mood of the new locale. Prices are still high-end, with entrees ranging from $22-36.
Simple concept, but Miller's already getting playful with the idea:
A friend recently wondered how I could possibly enjoy the TV show Hells Kitchen. I was accused of being terrible because I liked it. The message went, in part,
While I am the first to admit that cooking for a crowd (of friends) can be stressful, I simply cannot imagine eating any of the food that any of these people prepare ... including 'Chef Ramsay'. I cannot believe that you would really promote this kind of monstrosity regarding food. I still hear your delight with watching this program, and I simply cannot understand it.
Instead of trying to explain myself or take on the dubious task of defending the show, a story came to mind. I was in Apalachicola to eat, lecture, gather some Florida food research and, unbeknownst to me, cook.
News from Ain't It Cool via MTV is that Ghostbusters 3 is a go, with the original cast on board! Per Harry K.'s site:
Ramis promised that all the old core players will take part in the updated version, including Bill Murray (Dr. Peter Venkman) and Dan Aykroyd (Dr. Raymond Stantz), who co-wrote the original films. "We're all going to be in it in different kinds of roles," Ramis said. "We're going to be the sage mentors. There are going to be young Ghostbusters."
At the moment, Ramis is waiting on a first draft of the script, which is being penned by Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky, two writer/producers on "The Office," who also wrote "Year One." "Gene and Lee, both of whom I mentored, are now writing the new 'Ghostbusters,' " Ramis said. "I'm consulting with them, as is Dan Aykroyd and [original director] Ivan Reitman.
Best part was Ramis's kicker at the end:
"Bill Murray is just waiting for the truckload of money to arrive to get him out of his office," Ramis joked.
Tough to say whether or not Ghostbusters 3 will be worthy of the hype. The original is a classic, but Ghostbusters 2 sucked slimer's green gonads. Injecting young blood into the franchise is certainly a decent if tired way of resurrecting the franchise.
Now, if only Ramis and Murray would get to work on Caddyshack 3, maybe we'd have something here.
As a fat kid, I have a certain spidy-sense about delicious food, particularly when several streets are blocked off in the celebration of it. You don't get much more delicious than Italian cuisine, and when I heard about the Ybor City Festa Italiana, I knew I had a carbohy-date with destiny.
We arrived around noon and the streets were packed. I actually made a very wise move in parking 8 blocks away from the nearest gate, both to save on parking (only $4!) and because the walk both there and back was necessary. If I hadn't walked, I would have carbed myself right into a food coma before making it home.
When you walk in the main gate, you have the option to buy tickets in packs of 25 or 55. I opted for the 55 tickets for $25, as I knew from the smell in the air that I would kick myself if I didn't indulge in every possible fat-kid fantasy here. The crowd was an insurmountable force at times, often forming little channels of traffic between people standing around eating and talking.
The fourth concert in the Encore Chamber Series features the Wilson, Hsu and Hunsberger Trio, who perform works by Alec Wilder, Francis Poulenc and others. 7:30 p.m., Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg, $10-$20, 727-822-3590.
Flamboyantly hilarious Aussie comedian Barry Humphries (pictured) is hanging up the lilac wig and rhinestone glasses for good, but first, brings his Dame Edna Farewell Tour to Clearwater. 8 p.m., Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater, $47-$80, 727-791-7400.
Also at Ruth Eckerd Hall: Late Nite Catechism, an interative comedy presented like an adult catechism class by a fictitious Catholic nun, with the audience members of the nun's school "class." 8 p.m. Tues.-Thurs., 2 and 8 p.m. Fri., 1 and 8 p.m. Sat., 3 p.m. Sun., March 31-April 5, Murray Studio Theater @ REH, Clearwater, $35, 727-791-7400.