Super advice from both Amandas! Ditch that cheating loser. I laughed so much at Mean Amanda's response I almost lost control of my bladder--ah the joy of being 8 months prego!

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Just so you know... Wa Wa Waaaa? Really? This is someone's life and it's not always that easy or black and white. Self-respect? Marriage being sacred? Maybe. But it takes two to tango and I wonder what you'd say to him. Until you know both sides of the story, how 'bout ease up. Feelings are feelings. Right and wrong is right and wrong. But you NEVER know the whole truth until you've walked a mile in their shoes. Enough cliche's for ya? I thought in your un-inspired "rant" you could use some more. And by the way...sometimes they do leave. It's just that sometimes- they go back.

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Sweetie, if this blog were Dear Abby we might have another response for you... it's not. I'm not a therapist here to remind you that life throws a veritable feast of emotions at you... i'm here to tell you that you're a moron if you get involved with a married person. Not that he's not either... you're both pretty retarded. Wa Wa WAAAAAA is right. You want sympathy, go find a friend who'll lie to your face... you want actual advice from a creative loafing blog... this is what you get. Don't like it? Go cry into a pint of Ben n' Jerry's... I don't have the time.

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Anon: The answers you received may not have contained the empathy or reassurance you desired, but at least both Amandas were honest and approached it from an ethical, moral vantage point. Yes, difficult advice is easily dispensed from the safety of an outsider's perspective, but there you go. I empathize with the tension between knowing right and wrong, and wanting to follow your feelings. There's really nothing to stop you from cheating except your own conscience, and you can carry on as long as the deceit remains undiscovered (and his conscience remains equally unaffected). But should your conscience continue to trouble you, perhaps you should go to his wife and tell her "both sides of the story" so that she can "walk a mile in your shoes." If they have children, be sure to let them in on "the whole truth." Either that or, more likely, give him an ultimatum — "me or her." This isn't to say what you're doing isn't wrong — it is, as both Amandas and one other commenter have pointed out — but at least you'll be closer to doing what is right. And maybe there'll be a happy ending in it for you after all. Or at least some peace of mind.

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Sooooo much fighting here kids. Trust me, I understand feelings, few people have more feelings than I do, I burst into tears at least once per episode of Grey's Anatomy, I KNOW feelings. We all need to remember that this girl "the other woman" is in love and love is blinding. "Other Woman," you need to put yourself in that situation, if you cannot, how about you imagine that this marriage is your parents (if they are still married) or a committed couple you are close to. Imagine the pain it would cause the woman in that situation if her husband were cheating. No one should ever inflict pain like that on others, no matter how gratifying it may be to you for the moment. In the end, the pain will be yours, so it is best to cut it off sooner than later, on your own terms. Losing love is hard, it is one of the hardest things you will ever do...be prepared, be strong and be honest. Maybe you are the exception, maybe he will know what he has lost and make things right. Maybe he will come clean with his wife and officially end the marriage and come find you, wherever you may be and prove his love....but maybe he won't. That's the chance you must take.

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All points equally taken. To be fair though a dear abby response wasn't what I was hoping for. Advice yes, name-calling- no. So if someone is going to call me a moron, that person should look at themselves and say "hmmm.. have I slept with someone that started as one thing and ended as another and maybe I ended up with feelings?" Does that make me a "moron"? I think it just makes me human and we are all due a few mistakes. Yeah, where ever I end up he may make it right and he may realize I was for him. but he may not and life goes on. But either way, the mile in someone else's shoes works all ways- mine, his, hers and yes- even their 4 year old. So...nice Amanda- I think you are actually coming from a good place and helping. Mean Amanda- you're NOT giving advice, even from a "local creative loafing blog." To everyone else, this is the hardest hand I've been dealt yet. It's an ongoing struggle and I'm slowly moving away from it. As for being used for sex- I wish. It's been awhile. Like I said, we are all due a few mistakes and frankly Mean Amanda, if it wasn't for those mistakes you wouldn't have this blog.

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Heads up "Anon" ... you asked for advice from people calling themselves Nice Amanda and MEAN Amanda, not empathetic Amanda and sympathetic Amanda. This endeavour was never meant to entertain YOU, it's meant to entertain others that read about your issue (and frankly, it's done quite a lot to entertain... if only me!) You chose to address an issue that makes you and every other woman who has ever been involved in a similar situation, look like a dumbass (yes, more name calling, I'm fucking MEAN, deal). If you had chosen a lighthearted issue I am sure you would be more entertained, but you chose to admit to the world that you are seeing a married man who has a kid... odd that you would chose to stay anonymous... Live with your decisions, and best of luck.

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Sometimes advice needs to be given by those outside a situation....it's called perspective, something Anon has none of since they are in this mess to begin with. I totally agree with both Amandas. He won't leave his wife. Hell, I doubt he even reciprocates the love you show him, Anon. You are wasting a gift, the gift of love, on someone who doesn't know anything about it or respect for that matter. He is, after all, cheating on his wife. Not really the way you show love and respect is it?

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oh and one more thing.....I give a big ol' HELL NO to telling his wife or his kids. That is not Anon's business, it is the man's. It is his responsibility to manage his home life, or not, which he has apparently chosen to do the latter. Especially DON'T tell his kids...that's insane. We don't know how old they are, and it could seriously tramatize the only truly innocent people in this situation.

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Ok ok...so constructive advice is out the window. I get it. Admitting to the world (albeit anonymously) that I'm in a bad situation- to put it lightly.. advice may be too much to ask for. The truth of the matter is that the situation is over and only because my self-esteem and confidence and trust that I'm a good person who can love someone was completely gone. I love(ed) him. Whether he loved me or not is of no matter. Someone did tell his wife a while back. She blew it off. Maybe to save herself the trouble of having to deal with his problems and what it's done to the marriage. As a sidenote, she cheated on him too back in March. Just a low blow sidenote- sorry. Anyway... I'm moving on the best way I know how. No hard feelings? Who knows, in life- I guess it's all hard feelings.

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wow.. i thought the responses were clear OPINIONS.. why are why arguing in the comments? and honestly i really dont think the woman with the problem is really going to follow your advice, she was most likely looking for a reason why it's okay for her to get involved with this man

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