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Friday, August 22, 2008
“Boob size is obvious. Penis size is not."
Posted by Single White Female on Fri, Aug 22, 2008 at 2:01 PM
It’s not like most men have to worry your vagina isn’t going to be the right size.
They don’t lie awake at night thinking about what an awesome girl you are and wondering what they'll find when they move to the bedroom. I know a lot of women who are a fairly open bunch; not one of them has ever taken me aside and explained to me how they feel un-confident in bed because of a “saggy vag."
No, what men worry about when it comes to the physical aspects of the female form is displayed nicely in front of them the minute they see us. Though we have the ability to slightly mask these things (I am a TOTAL Spanx addict, but we’ll address that later) and I know a few girls who have purchased stock in bras that contain air or water, it is by no means the same for the men.
I have heard the horror stories of my close friends and relatives (yes, my family is crazy, I inherited it) who thought they had met the men of their dreams, perfect in every aspect, Prince Charmings … only to have that dream crushed when the pants are off… literally. I myself have experienced an evening or two with a guy who had just about everything I (thought I) wanted at the time: He was cute, bearded, young and malleable, only with a penis so thin it felt like he was trying to stab me with a letter opener.
It’s just unfair. You build up our hopes and dreams -- we have that nice little house all built in our heads, you know the one with the eggshell paint and the blue shutters -- and suddenly it all comes crashing down along with our once-healthy libido.
Now I am not one for some gigantor man piece by any means; in fact, too big can be downright scary. Just like men and boobs, there are men who like small itty bitty boy boobs and there are girls (somewhere I’m sure) who like cute little man bits. All I ask is that it be made a little more conspicuous … some of us don’t go for the junk grab on the first date, some of us are even trying to bring back old school dating where condoms are saved for sometime … oh, I don’t know, after date #2?
So if you boys could all just… I don’t know, wear a tiny pin with a doctor's note indicating what you might have in store for us, that would be lovely.
Hell, we could go as old school as to pin the girls you’re seeing… cute.
Comments (9)
Showing 1-9 of 9
SWF: Check out this link: http://www2.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/vaginasize.htm It's a story called "For women: is your vagina too big – or too small?" By Dr. David Delvin. Here's his first line: "Worries about vagina size are extremely common among women." But I'm not hatin'. I couldn't agree more. I simply can't stand it every time I get some chicky with a nice rack into my bedroom only to find out her Wonderbra has more padding than Charlie Manson's cell. Sure, she's an intelligent and attractive women who's also a good person, but if the titties aren't big enough I send them packing (as soon as we're done fucking, of course). It would be great if all the ladies could start wearing a little pin or something that says "My tits aren't this big." Put it right there on the lapel, since that's the only place us nuckledraggin' boys are staring anyway.
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joe, does heidi know about all of these wonderbra wearing women that you're bringing home?
joe, "maybe"... hmmm... SWF, years ago, a friend was having problems getting a date. we were going to make him a tshirt that read "hi. my name is kevin and i have an average penis." i am quite convinced this would have gotten him laid in a matter of hours.
Dear Joe, Would this imaginary world that SWF is describing seem more fair to you if we had to wear pins with our cup size? Or are you just afraid that this pin scenario might actually become a reality and ruin your chances with the ladies once this heidi character realizes that you lack a sense of humor and dumps your ass?
a girl, of all the things i've heard people call joe, humorless is not one of them. and frankly, i think that his sense of humor is the only reason heidi keeps him around as he has no other redeeming qualities. well, he does curse a lot at work, thats got to count for something, right?
ok, so i checked out the link joe posted. i'm surprised that the guy who wrote it is a doctor. when was the last time you asked a real doctor "What can be done about a slack vagina?" is the va-jay-jay in question lazy? is it showing up to work late? is it not taking out the trash or not doing the dishes? maybe it smokes too much pot. i guess a slack vagina is better than a vagina with a lazy eye, 'cause that would be creepy!
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