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Friday, May 30, 2008
Let's blog about sex
Posted by Eric Snider on Fri, May 30, 2008 at 6:44 PM
Today’s topic: coitus vs. fellatio. Fucking vs. blowjobs.
I’m coming (sorry) at this from a specific (heterosexual) angle; let me lay it out:
When I was in high school in the ’70s, getting sex from a girl was hard to come (sorry) by. Perhaps I just wasn’t a very good closer, or maybe I preferred the company of “good girls,” but in order to, in our lexicon, “ball a chick,” you pretty much had to date a girl for awhile, have said the L-word and perhaps even hinted that you were considering a long-term future with her.
Then the girl might let you “make love” to her — usually in pretty uptight, unimaginative ways. (Not that we complained.) Let me stress that these were the experiences of me and most of my friends — rarely, in high school, did a guy come rollin’ up with a story about how he scored with some chick he just met. It may have been different elsewhere, but I get the sense that this is a pretty fair depiction of the sexual mores of teenagers during my late adolescence.
So with enough diligence, you could get laid. Blowjobs, on the other hand, were a different matter. That was a major leap, and a young man would be very proud indeed if he was able to procure such a service (from his girlfriend, of course). By and large, the high school girls we knew and dated were of the I’m-not-putting-that-nasty-thing-in-my-mouth mindset. Blowjobs were dirty.
That script seems to have flipped. From anecdotal data I’ve picked up from some of my younger friends and colleagues, blowjobs have become a sort of social currency. No big deal. One friend of mind, who’s now 30, remembers having first dates with girls in high school whose stance was, more or less: I won’t fuck you, but I’ll give you a blowjob.
I’m a little envious, I guess. I’m pretty sure I’ve never been the beneficiary of a casual blowjob; even later in my life — after the whole blowjobs-are-nasty thing went by the boards — it was always part of the foreplay. Thinking back to the never-ending horniness of my high school days, casual blowjobs would have done the trick most of the time. That said, I’d never want to trade blowjobs for fucking. Given one or the other, I’ll take fucking almost every time.
What interests me now is more or less when this worm turned. When did high school girls get over the not-in-my-mouth attitude? I've heard that they work on technique — they want to give good blowjobs. (Ok, now I'm definitely envious.) When did blowjobs get easier to come (sorry) by than getting laid? The ’90s? I can’t say — although I think it’s, at least in part, fallout from the AIDS era — because I’ve been out of the game for a long time. But if anyone has any thoughts, regarding a time frame for this script flip, or any other aspect of the fucking/blowjob continuum, I’d love to head, I mean hear, it.
Comments (61)
Showing 1-50 of 61
I remember being in 5th grade and hearing that someone had gotten a "BJ" behind the bleachers. Apparently it was real, becuase my parents had heard about it as well. When my brother and I were questioned as to our knowledge of said blowjob, we both turned out to be pretty ignorant. I remember giggling and saying that a BJ was when a girl touches a guys wee stick. Anyway, that was...um...1987 I think. So, to answer the original question, I believe the HIV probably was the straw that broke the camels back. I know that "cock in the mouth" is not HIV free, but it does not have the overwhelming negative DEATH connotations of it's ugly big brother, "meat in the Vag". Records show that blowjobs had already surged in popularity after females realized they were quicker (sometimes), cleaner (most times) and healthier for them! No baby to worry about having to stomp out post coitus, and no dreaded HIV to have to explain to Grandma... sounds like a win win to me!
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Well, by 1989 when I was beginning to get some with regularity, it was exceedingly easier to get head than it was to get laid. Like 1st date or maybe even at a party and just met easy. But maybe that was just Jacksonville. Actually, when I think back, I got a *lot* of head back in high school, and that likely has ruined me for the rest of my days.
Thanks, guys. '80s was earlier than I thought. I still missed out by more than a decade. Funny, though, not all the high school girls were that uptight. My first really good blowjob was by a girl that I met through a friend. I was a freshman college. She came up to visit her sister, who I had graduated with. A bunch of us scattered around a dorm room floor to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night. Felt very good. She was giving me a blowjob. Now that shit was pretty cool in my day. We ended up going out for awhile. She was a sophomore in high school at the time, and the first girl I ever met who really dug sex. There were more after that, thank God. But it still blows (ahem) me away to think there are 16-year-old girls out there working at giving really good head. That shit's just not fair.
Yeah, that was me trying to be clever and embed a video of some deep-throat banana demo. But I suppose the point is that you can Google "blow job" and find detailed accounts on how to succ-seed at giving the most nuanced and satisfying oral experience. We are voyeurs, and we learn by watching and doing. It's like Guitar Hero for your mouth.
And in a stroke of serendipitous latin, the security code I had to type in to post my comment were the letters "denta"
i wont lie... there was a lot more blowjobs in highschool then now. not a criticism of my current situation, more a reflection on my younger, more devil may care, bravado. for a good long while, friday date night at the movies implied getting blown during the flick... to even think that this would lead me to anything but getting arrested now. in fact, there was that one time, after homecoming, that i was in the middle of getting a hummer when the po-po rolled up on us in my car underneath the SR580 bridge and kind of killed the mood when he asked the girl to get out and convince him that she wanted to be there... oh to be young and carefree...
"in fact, there was that one time, after homecoming, that i was in the middle of getting a hummer when the po-po rolled up on us in my car underneath the SR580 bridge and kind of killed the mood when he asked the girl to get out and convince him that she wanted to be there…" Did you at least take her to Shoney's before the dance?
I think the above comments from Tom Dowd hit the nail on the head (damn!) except for one aspect neglected: Girls who only give blowjobs can still say they are virgins. And that was surprisingly important to my female friends when I was, oh, 14.
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