“Would you mind making sure my stockings are even?” Kendra Lust asked with a smirk as she turned around and bent over in front of me.
I took a knee to inspect the stockings sliding up her muscular legs to her powerhouse of an ass. Her leggings were even but I still made a few minor adjustments to extend my time basking in the radiance of her butt. Considering that this exchange occurred within moments of our meeting, I couldn’t help but wonder if her overt flirtatiousness was a theatrical performance, or if she really was as sexual as she acted.
We were in a mansion on the set of Tanya Tate’s latest project for Filly Films, "Lesbian Family Affairs 2." While I compulsively ate carrot sticks Lust prepared to take still photos for the box cover. She slid out of her dress and lathered her perfectly sculpted breasts with strawberry scented lotion.
A number of questions flooded my mind when I RSVPed “yes” to a twelve-person orgy. Was I required to bring some sort of gift: a cake, a twelve pack of wine coolers, a leather-bound sex-slave? Would condoms and lube be provided? What about bathrobes and moist towelettes? Could I bring a plus one? Should I pack a lunch? Emily Post never wrote about the etiquette of group sex, and I couldn’t find any reputable online guides to navigating the nuances of orgies. Consequently I resolved to use my invitation to educate others on the ins and outs of hosting a successful sex party.
When I arrived on the set of Wicked’s Holly… Would, the air was thick with the hiss of aerosol bottles and the scent of beauty products. Samantha Saint rubbed lotion on her award winning tits. Another model asked around for a spare douche. Standing naked on the stairs, Asa Akira asked for directions to the “enema bathroom.”
The Ta-Ta Top is a bikini top made in various skin tones with realistic looking nipples printed on each cup. The design was created by two feminists, Robyn Graves and Michelle Lytle, to help normalize the sight of the female anatomy without forcing the wearer to actually go topless. The bikini is in support of the #FreeTheNipple campaign, which argues that the sight of the female nipple is no more salacious than male nipples, and should not be censored in public or online. Also, $5 from every $28 purchase is donated to a breast cancer charity. The tops are available through thetatatop.com
A hospital in Nanjing, China created an automatic sperm extractor to ease the process of sperm donation. The machine has a rubber massage tube that can adjust to the donor's height. The gadget also allows users to set the temperature, frequency, and amplitude of the artificial vagina. If the man-milking machine alone doesn't provide enough stimulation, a small TV screen is mounted atop the device to play erotic content.
New York's Museum of Sex is set to open an exhibit called "Funland: Pleasures & Perils of the Erotic Fairground," which mixes the interactivity of a children's museum with adult fun. The instillation features a boob moon bounce where visitors are invited to "jump for joy." The exhibit also has a rock wall called "Grope Mountain" made entirely of orifices and appendages. There is also a "Tunnel of Love," which is a mirrored maze that leads to the "G" spot.
Rick Perry put a dick-shaped foot in his mouth recently when comparing homosexuals to alcoholics. Whatever he meant by the cock-brained comparison, Funny or Die was quick to exploit the homophobic politician's policies for comedic gold.
Men who use naked photos as a pick-up line may want to rethink their strategy after a Marco Island resident was arrested for drunkenly sexting an officer at 5 AM.
Paul Kirleis, 30, called 911 to report a suspicious vehicle in his neighborhood early Sunday morning. Officer Ryan Montomery responded to Kirleis using his police-issued cellphone. After the suspicious car problem was resolved, Montomery received two texts allegedly from Kirleis's phone asking, "Who's this??" and declaring, "I am boo." The officer then allegedly received three picture messages from Kirleis's phone. One reportedly showed a man in a black thong. Another featured a man bending over forward to expose his ass and testicles. The third revealed what appeared to be the same man showing his ass while grinning back at the camera. These messages were followed by the text, "Sooo."
When police questioned Kirleis, he allegedly claimed he had been “very intoxicated” and “did not remember much from the night.” Kirleis refused the officers' requests to search his phone. Kirleis was arrested on stalking and obscenity charges, both misdemeanors. He remains in a Collier County jail on $10,000 bond.
Women are tired of having their phones bombarded with tasteless dick pics that have bad lighting, the same tired poses, and uninspired backgrounds. Rockthatcock.org created an imaginary smartphone app that allows you to add some romance to your vulgar penis pics. The photoshopping options are only limited by your imagination. You can send your dick to the moon, dress him up as a religious figure, give him some sexy tattoos, position him as the crown piece on a majestic unicorn. If only this app were real, guys would finally have a great excuse to send dick pics, and women might actually want to receive them.
What happens when you mix weed, a parody porn, jessica drake's ass, and a ravenous craving for popsicles.
By Shawn Alff
on Thu, Jun 5, 2014 at 4:03 PM
I just texted my friend Sydney a shirtless selfie because I’m stoned and I haven’t had sex in a week and I have a lingering case of blue balls from the previous night when a woman had me pull her hair for thirty minutes while thwarting my attempts to burrow under her shirt. Paranoia sets in. Did I just send that shirtless selfie to the wrong person? That happened last night when the hair-pulling-fetishist wanted to get stoned and I texted the wrong number asking where I could score some “greenery,” as I've never arranged a drug deal and I have no idea what the cool word for pot is. Turns out drug dealers aren’t incredibly reliable and my hookup happened a day late, leaving me to get stoned alone in a bathtub, attempting to entice Sydney to come over with promises of greenery, popsicles, and my shirtless self. This is all to say that my mind and body are in prime physical shape for reviewing porn, as I’m fascinated and aroused by pretty much everything, including the toaster.
Enough fluff. Let’s get these pants off and pop in Axel Braun's, Snow White XXX.
The all-girl EDM band, ADAM, had a simple idea for the music video to their latest single, "Go to Go." The camera focuses on a stagnant shot of these women singing while they are inconspicuously mounted on an intense vibrator. The women slowly transform from composed musicians to hot and bothered women who have a difficult time concentrating on the lyrics. It's impossible to watch this video and not smile with these women who quickly begin to break down and giggle as the song, and their orgasms, build toward climax. Watch the full video below.