Adult Adventures

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Kendra Lust: the MILF next door (NSFW)

Getting in bed with the porn star on the set of "Lesbian Family Affairs 2"

Posted By and on Tue, Dec 2, 2014 at 7:30 AM

“Would you mind making sure my stockings are even?” Kendra Lust asked with a smirk as she turned around and bent over in front of me.

I took a knee to inspect the stockings sliding up her muscular legs to her powerhouse of an ass. Her leggings were even but I still made a few minor adjustments to extend my time basking in the radiance of her butt. Considering that this exchange occurred within moments of our meeting, I couldn’t help but wonder if her overt flirtatiousness was a theatrical performance, or if she really was as sexual as she acted.

We were in a mansion on the set of Tanya Tate’s latest project for Filly Films, "Lesbian Family Affairs 2." While I compulsively ate carrot sticks Lust prepared to take still photos for the box cover. She slid out of her dress and lathered her perfectly sculpted breasts with strawberry scented lotion.

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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Orgy etiquette as learned on the set of Wicked’s 'Holly… Would' (NSFW)

A number of questions flooded my mind when I RSVPed “yes” to a twelve-person orgy.

Posted By and on Tue, Nov 11, 2014 at 7:01 AM


A number of questions flooded my mind when I RSVPed “yes” to a twelve-person orgy. Was I required to bring some sort of gift: a cake, a twelve pack of wine coolers, a leather-bound sex-slave? Would condoms and lube be provided? What about bathrobes and moist towelettes? Could I bring a plus one? Should I pack a lunch? Emily Post never wrote about the etiquette of group sex, and I couldn’t find any reputable online guides to navigating the nuances of orgies. Consequently I resolved to use my invitation to educate others on the ins and outs of hosting a successful sex party.

When I arrived on the set of Wicked’s Holly… Would, the air was thick with the hiss of aerosol bottles and the scent of beauty products. Samantha Saint rubbed lotion on her award winning tits. Another model asked around for a spare douche. Standing naked on the stairs, Asa Akira asked for directions to the “enema bathroom.”

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

A stoned review of Snow White XXX

What happens when you mix weed, a parody porn, jessica drake's ass, and a ravenous craving for popsicles.

Posted By on Thu, Jun 5, 2014 at 4:03 PM

I just texted my friend Sydney a shirtless selfie because I’m stoned and I haven’t had sex in a week and I have a lingering case of blue balls from the previous night when a woman had me pull her hair for thirty minutes while thwarting my attempts to burrow under her shirt. Paranoia sets in. Did I just send that shirtless selfie to the wrong person? That happened last night when the hair-pulling-fetishist wanted to get stoned and I texted the wrong number asking where I could score some “greenery,” as I've never arranged a drug deal and I have no idea what the cool word for pot is. Turns out drug dealers aren’t incredibly reliable and my hookup happened a day late, leaving me to get stoned alone in a bathtub, attempting to entice Sydney to come over with promises of greenery, popsicles, and my shirtless self. This is all to say that my mind and body are in prime physical shape for reviewing porn, as I’m fascinated and aroused by pretty much everything, including the toaster.

Enough fluff. Let’s get these pants off and pop in Axel Braun's, Snow White XXX

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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Adventures in Virginity: Breaking up with my first grade teacher

"Ms. Shout wanted to have her way with my oversized imagination"

Posted By on Wed, Apr 30, 2014 at 2:53 PM


I had to end the affair with my first grade teacher. Ms. Shout had taught me much, both in the ways of love and the alphabet, but we had grown apart — that, and another older woman had entered the picture.

My mother had set me up with Ms. Shout.

"Shawn said his teacher was an old, bald witch,” my mother told Ms. Shout the first time they met, then grinned at me like the petty cockblocker she was.

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Friday, January 31, 2014

Adventures in Virginity: The case of the aspiring vagina archaeologists

Searching for buried treasure in the mysterious caverns of the female anatomy.

Posted By on Fri, Jan 31, 2014 at 7:00 AM

The author and his brother: aspiring vagina archaeologists & cowboys
  • Shawn Alff
  • The author and his brother: aspiring vagina archaeologists & cowboys
My brother and I loved playing with Barbies. Our formula for fun followed three simple steps. 1. Undress Barbie. 2. Rip off Barbie’s head. 3. Position headless-naked-Barbie in compromising positions throughout her Dream House. When Mike and I eventually grew bored with the limitations of Barbie's stiff limbs, we’d order our agile GI Joes to steal her convertible and take it off some sweet ramps.

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Monday, January 20, 2014

Neon Nights (NSFW)

POV scenes of an alley blowjob, new love, partying with porn stars, and the 2013 NightMoves Awards.

Posted By on Mon, Jan 20, 2014 at 7:00 AM

Prinzzess Felicity Jade on stage at NightMoves
  • Brian James
  • Prinzzess Felicity Jade on stage at NightMoves

I’m no sex or drug expert but I’m fairly certain Brenda wouldn’t have given Dartanian an alley blowjob within moments of meeting him if she was sober. In my limited experience, women are only that forward in strip clubs where their flirtations are usually limited to surface encounters, and their motivations are as clear as their Lucite heels.

Dartanian and I were killing time in Ybor before heading to Thee Dollhouse for the first night of the 2013 NightMoves Awards Weekend. He confessed that, so far, the weekend wasn’t living up to his expectations after reading my coverage of FetishCon. And, it certainly wasn’t living up to the porn star name, "Dartanian," he christened himself with for the visit.

Dartanian had flown to Tampa in the hopes of using my loose connections to the adult industry to fuck a porn star. Despite my apprehensions about unleashing him at a work function, I couldn’t say no. He was my oldest friend. We shared an efficiency for four years in college. He had been one of my two groomsmen. In the end, I told him to come. I had just started dating Robin exclusively—my first foray into monogamy since my divorce following the AVN Awards in January—and I needed someone to fill in as my stunt cock for the weekend.

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Thursday, January 9, 2014

Test driving the Pyxis finger massager

A gonzo product review of the Key Pyxis Finger Massager by Jopen

Posted By on Thu, Jan 9, 2014 at 7:00 AM

The instruction manual for the Pyxis finger massager had no warnings about using the sex toy while operating heavy machinery, so it seemed sensible to “road test" the ring-shaped vibrator while driving my girlfriend home from the airport.

My shuttle service didn't offer the classiest ride, but it was full service. As I chauffeured Robin over the bay bridge toward pleasure town, I positioned the buzzing Pyxis on the inseam of her denim crotch-armor. The finger massager looks like one of those toy rings that claims to give you x-ray vision. This is fitting as under the Pyxis's influence, Robin quickly slid her pants to her ankles. Originally I brought the vibrator along for the ride to keep Robin from pouncing on me in the car after our sexless week apart. The opposite happened. She began licking my face, toying with my stick shift, and begging me to pull over on the freeway so we could use the Explorer's cargo bed for its intended purpose.

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